Well, I got quite the surprise last night...what I thought would be a nice quiet dinner among friends turned into a huge party. Laura picked me up for dinner and when we walked into the restaurant, I looked around, still not suspecting a thing...and then heard "Surprise!" I almost looked behind me to see who was the recipient...and then realized it was me! I have some sneaky friends...but wonderful ones.
This is no pity party by any means...I haven't had a "friend" birthday party since middle school...I don't really think about it because I'm always with my family for Christmas. This was a complete surprise and delight. As I made my way through the restaurant to greet people and thank them, I was blown away that they all came. It was as if many of my worlds came together...to celebrate life as we live it together. I had just written about "home" and community and how blessed I feel by it all...and they did all of that for me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to grasp the scope of God's love. When people do things for me, I feel at a loss...accepting gifts and help is hard sometimes. We want to be self-sufficient, independent, and in control. When others give...when they give of themselves, their time, and their love for us, it can be uncomfortable. But, if we neglect to accept these gifts of the people around us, we impoverish ourselves...and we don't learn how to give graciously ourselves. And many times we don't accept that God loves us unconditionally...enough to take our brokenness, our guilt, our messy selves and make them something good. God surprises us...we know about God's love...but do we accept it, embrace it, and recycle it? Be surprised today...and soak it all in...then wring it out on someone else. I know I'm glad others have done that for me.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
December 19th...
"Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear.
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus."
Luke 1:11-12, 29-31
"Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:19-21
Last night, a group of women went to a nursing home to sing Christmas music to the residents. During the "service," someone read the Christmas story, the Scripture from Luke. I've heard that passage many times, but this time, the part about the angel appearing to Mary and her reaction stuck out to me. She was troubled...Zechariah was gripped with fear...Joesph was told not to be afraid...
Fear, trembling, startled...all of these were emotions felt by people that God used...to save the world. They weren't superheroes...they didn't fly; they didn't preach eloquent sermons; they didn't ask for prosperity in politics or leadership...they were ordinary people who got scared when angels talked to them. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if an angel spoke to me...I know I would be scared though. But, their response is what matters...they accepted...Zechariah was silent for a while to soak it all in...Mary accepted and rejoiced with a song...Joseph married a woman pregnant in a way he couldn't fathom.
Angels may not appear to us...but God speaks. The Holy Spirit asks us to do things all the time that stretch us, that seem awkward, that sometimes seem ordinary to us, but could be extraordinary to someone else. Someone's gold is someone else's bread. The good news of the Gospel is just that...it is bread for one person...it is an angel speaking to another...it is clean water...it is a Savior...it is a good night's sleep....but it is good. And it is news, so it is worthy of telling, of sharing...and some people might be scared or even tremble when they hear it...God speaks...are you listening...and are you being spoken through?
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus."
Luke 1:11-12, 29-31
"Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:19-21
Last night, a group of women went to a nursing home to sing Christmas music to the residents. During the "service," someone read the Christmas story, the Scripture from Luke. I've heard that passage many times, but this time, the part about the angel appearing to Mary and her reaction stuck out to me. She was troubled...Zechariah was gripped with fear...Joesph was told not to be afraid...
Fear, trembling, startled...all of these were emotions felt by people that God used...to save the world. They weren't superheroes...they didn't fly; they didn't preach eloquent sermons; they didn't ask for prosperity in politics or leadership...they were ordinary people who got scared when angels talked to them. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if an angel spoke to me...I know I would be scared though. But, their response is what matters...they accepted...Zechariah was silent for a while to soak it all in...Mary accepted and rejoiced with a song...Joseph married a woman pregnant in a way he couldn't fathom.
Angels may not appear to us...but God speaks. The Holy Spirit asks us to do things all the time that stretch us, that seem awkward, that sometimes seem ordinary to us, but could be extraordinary to someone else. Someone's gold is someone else's bread. The good news of the Gospel is just that...it is bread for one person...it is an angel speaking to another...it is clean water...it is a Savior...it is a good night's sleep....but it is good. And it is news, so it is worthy of telling, of sharing...and some people might be scared or even tremble when they hear it...God speaks...are you listening...and are you being spoken through?
Day 18
At church today, I felt a sense of joy that I haven't felt in a while...we sang "Go Tell It On the Mountain" and then "Joy to the World." People were smiling, singing, and enjoying themselves. This is a serious season, but it is also full of laughter, smiles, anticipations of what is to come, and even dancing. And why shouldn't it be? Yes, there is a time for reflection, for silence...but don't forget to rejoice, to see the anticipation of Christmas Day in the eyes of a child, to dance a little to Christmas music, to laugh at the crazy Christmas decorations portraying Santa kneeling beside baby Jesus...it's all a part of the celebration.
One of my favorite themes of the Bible is the idea that joy and sorrow are intertwined...you will experience both...sometimes you experience joy as a result of emerging from the duration of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow hits you hard after you have experienced great joy. But that's just it...they will both come...so celebrate life...all of it. And don't forget to look in the mirror and not take yourself too seriously...
One of my favorite themes of the Bible is the idea that joy and sorrow are intertwined...you will experience both...sometimes you experience joy as a result of emerging from the duration of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow hits you hard after you have experienced great joy. But that's just it...they will both come...so celebrate life...all of it. And don't forget to look in the mirror and not take yourself too seriously...
And on the 17th Day...
Last night, I babysat for some dear friends...we ended up going over to their grandmother's house for them to spend the night...the youngest is 2 years old and she was so excited to see her new cousin! Upon seeing her, she yelled "Ellie!!!" and her face lit up. I'm pretty sure she would be content to "hold" that baby for Christmas...oh the subtle reminders of what is important...and children will lead the way to Christ. As I stood in their grandmother's kitchen, which I have done countless times, I looked over at the Christmas tree. It was gorgeous...full of white lights...glowing. I had this overwhelming feeling of light...of thankfulness...these people love me. I love them. I am given the privilege of caring for their children and grandchildren...they entrust me with their care.
We moved around a lot when I was growing up...the curse of the minister's family...but it wasn't a curse...it taught me how to meet people, adjust, be flexible...and it taught me what a true home is. Home is not a place...yes, there is sentiment attached to certain places and memories follow every place. But, home is our responsibility...we create it wherever we are. Just as Jesus travelled and invited others to join him in doing good, we must do that for others. And in so doing, we experience home...a sense of belonging, a security...challenging ourselves and each other to be better.
In that kitchen, I realized how bright my life is...because of the people God has allowed me to be home to...and who have invited me home in so many ways. We all belong to each other...have you invited anyone in lately?
We moved around a lot when I was growing up...the curse of the minister's family...but it wasn't a curse...it taught me how to meet people, adjust, be flexible...and it taught me what a true home is. Home is not a place...yes, there is sentiment attached to certain places and memories follow every place. But, home is our responsibility...we create it wherever we are. Just as Jesus travelled and invited others to join him in doing good, we must do that for others. And in so doing, we experience home...a sense of belonging, a security...challenging ourselves and each other to be better.
In that kitchen, I realized how bright my life is...because of the people God has allowed me to be home to...and who have invited me home in so many ways. We all belong to each other...have you invited anyone in lately?
Friday, December 16, 2011
Day 16...
But, I took a chance. In the book, Ameer is the main character. His best friend and companion is Ra, a dog he saved from drowning with the other runts of other litters. He is traveling in a large caravan with the three wise men, or kings, leading the caravan to go see the King, Jesus. While traveling, every person is gathering his or her best to present to the King. Ameer feels at a loss because he has nothing...he is poor...he is at the back of the caravan, and he has nothing to offer. When they arrive, he is surprised to be in Bethlehem, a bustling city that is not likely for a King. Then they approach the place where they will find Jesus and he stands in awe that the King is in such a dirty, un-kingly (yes, I made that up) place. He goes to the back of the line and doesn't want to see the King because he is shamed that he has nothing to present...But, he gets pushed into the line because of all of the chaos. So, as he enters, he describes Joseph and Mary as "a man and woman in peasant clothing." He falls to his knees at the sight of the baby with his parents. And in that moment, he decides to give all he has to this baby King...he gives them Ra, his only possession. Mary tells him that it is the most precious gift they have received because he gave all he had.
I hope that I grasp this small, yet profound truth---that giving is better than receiving. And if we give all we have, we will receive so much more in return. Why can't we let go?
A few years ago, I was living in Chicago...we lived on the top floor of a two-story flat...below us lived two sister and their kids. I will never forget this---one day, one of the sisters stopped me outside of the apartment, on the sidewalk, and said, "I've been meaning to tell you, we have some extra money on our food stamps card, so if y'all ever need it, just let me know." I almost started crying right there...it seems small, but was huge to us that she cared enough for us to share what she had.
Give. God started a long time ago...and hasn't stopped. Why have we?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
10 days 'til Christmas...really?!
Last night brought back a flood of memories for me...some members of our church went to sing at an assisted living home. As I walked in, I saw the men and women living at the home sitting, waiting. I got the same feeling of discomfort I always get when in a situation like that...I suddenly don't know what to say or how to approach the people. This may surprise you about me...but it's true. Thankfully I had parents who pushed in that regard--they didn't give us an option about meeting people, talking to them, and getting over ourselves. So, I worked my way around the room, introducing myself and commenting on Christmas sweaters, the enormous Christmas tree, and what they had for supper.
The kids arrived and sang...then we sang a few selections...and finally, we all sang Christmas carols together. At the conclusion of the singing, we were mingling...the kids were walking around the room, passing out cards and giving and receiving hugs. And I got a little choked up...I had flashbacks from childhood--of being surrounded by the smells of the nursing home...discomfort...and reaching out to hold frail, cold hands...of kissing wrinkled faces...of gazing into old, yet clear blue eyes...of hugging grandmothers and grandfathers that were not my own. And I realized in that moment how important those times were. They softened my heart. They made me who I am today. They changed my heart to a greater purpose. They taught me about love.
After that, we went to the Alzheimer's unit of the building and sang for them. The piano was incredibly out of tune...I got tickled at that. Then a lady in the back put her fingers in her ears and started yelling, "It's just noise! Noise! Noise!" And we kept singing. We sang "Mary Did You Know?" and I got teary-eyed again..."the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again...the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb." I couldn't help but think of the people in front of me...how they long to be healed physically and for their minds to be clear again. And they will experience that healing one day.
Then we sang some carols...always amazes me that Alzheimer patients remember every word. As we were singing "Winter Wonderland," a 99 year old woman came up to me at the front, in her wheelchair, and started dancing with me. I went with it--swayed, shook, sang...all of it. She said, "You are just the prettiest thing...and a good dancer. And I just love all of you." Then she told me that she was starting to perspire. I hugged her and a few others...one had cold hands...so I said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?" She said, "Yeah (giggle) and dirty feet, no sweetheart!"
Joy and wisdom are found in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. You never know what you're gonna get.
The kids arrived and sang...then we sang a few selections...and finally, we all sang Christmas carols together. At the conclusion of the singing, we were mingling...the kids were walking around the room, passing out cards and giving and receiving hugs. And I got a little choked up...I had flashbacks from childhood--of being surrounded by the smells of the nursing home...discomfort...and reaching out to hold frail, cold hands...of kissing wrinkled faces...of gazing into old, yet clear blue eyes...of hugging grandmothers and grandfathers that were not my own. And I realized in that moment how important those times were. They softened my heart. They made me who I am today. They changed my heart to a greater purpose. They taught me about love.
After that, we went to the Alzheimer's unit of the building and sang for them. The piano was incredibly out of tune...I got tickled at that. Then a lady in the back put her fingers in her ears and started yelling, "It's just noise! Noise! Noise!" And we kept singing. We sang "Mary Did You Know?" and I got teary-eyed again..."the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again...the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb." I couldn't help but think of the people in front of me...how they long to be healed physically and for their minds to be clear again. And they will experience that healing one day.
Then we sang some carols...always amazes me that Alzheimer patients remember every word. As we were singing "Winter Wonderland," a 99 year old woman came up to me at the front, in her wheelchair, and started dancing with me. I went with it--swayed, shook, sang...all of it. She said, "You are just the prettiest thing...and a good dancer. And I just love all of you." Then she told me that she was starting to perspire. I hugged her and a few others...one had cold hands...so I said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?" She said, "Yeah (giggle) and dirty feet, no sweetheart!"
Joy and wisdom are found in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. You never know what you're gonna get.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The 14th Day
Happy Birthday to Sumi! :)
I am absolutely exhausted...the season and the kids are getting to me...do you feel it? I must be at the top of the hump of Wednesday and I'm going to have to coast down the rest of the week...we have five days of school before Christmas break.
I am not a shopper. I loathe it...I honestly don't understand the thrill that so many women (and my dad) talk about when they find a good deal or just "window shop." Well, last night I broke down and went Christmas shopping...hadn't done any up until that point. I had two stores on my list...yes, that's right...two. My good friend was gracious enough to endure it with me...we went to downtown Knoxville and had dinner at a nice restaurant...so it was bearable. ;)
We finished dinner and walked around for a bit in the mild December weather...they have an ice-rink in the middle of Market Square so we just watched people skating for a while. There were kids falling all over the place...I laughed more at memories of myself doing that same thing years ago. Then there was a couple...she came along the side of the rink and was doing the ice skate shuffle, eyes bugging out...I gave her a few tips and she started skating more freely around the rink...then her boyfriend joined her and he was skating, leading with his head! It was quite entertaining. And next to me was a dad holding his 10 month old baby...the baby played peek-a-boo with me for a while and laughed.
I stopped for a moment, breathed deeply, and heard the laughter and joy of this season. Kids being kids. Adults being kids. People who don't know each other sharing moments of happiness. It was good. Take time to breathe and listen today. It's worthwhile.
I am absolutely exhausted...the season and the kids are getting to me...do you feel it? I must be at the top of the hump of Wednesday and I'm going to have to coast down the rest of the week...we have five days of school before Christmas break.
I am not a shopper. I loathe it...I honestly don't understand the thrill that so many women (and my dad) talk about when they find a good deal or just "window shop." Well, last night I broke down and went Christmas shopping...hadn't done any up until that point. I had two stores on my list...yes, that's right...two. My good friend was gracious enough to endure it with me...we went to downtown Knoxville and had dinner at a nice restaurant...so it was bearable. ;)
We finished dinner and walked around for a bit in the mild December weather...they have an ice-rink in the middle of Market Square so we just watched people skating for a while. There were kids falling all over the place...I laughed more at memories of myself doing that same thing years ago. Then there was a couple...she came along the side of the rink and was doing the ice skate shuffle, eyes bugging out...I gave her a few tips and she started skating more freely around the rink...then her boyfriend joined her and he was skating, leading with his head! It was quite entertaining. And next to me was a dad holding his 10 month old baby...the baby played peek-a-boo with me for a while and laughed.
I stopped for a moment, breathed deeply, and heard the laughter and joy of this season. Kids being kids. Adults being kids. People who don't know each other sharing moments of happiness. It was good. Take time to breathe and listen today. It's worthwhile.
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