To All Who Are Still Awaiting My Final Posts:
My apologies...I had no internet connection when I was in Florida so...the posts didn't make it on time. So, to save myself and you a little, I am combining thoughts into one final reflection of this advent season.
The theme of the last week or so has been drive, travel, drive some more, eat a whole lot, and then drive again. In between all of that, there were wonderful moments with family and time to be thankful.
My family traveled to Florida last Thursday to be with my grandma, my mom's mom. Entering her house always brings back memories...she has lived in the same house for 45 years or so...and nothing has changed...blue carpet, blue drapes that we were never allowed to touch, tiny trinkets, the smallest porcelain cats you will ever see in your life (that you must dust), blue kitchen cabinets...do you get the point? Nothing has changed...and it's kind of nice that way. We were looking for a hair dryer Friday morning...don't know why we always forget to bring one...and Jamie found the first hair dryer ever made by man...I promise you it weighed 8 pounds...and still worked. It would have taken an hour to dry, but anyway...tangent.
We celebrated Christmas together on Christmas Eve because my brother and sister in law had to go back to Georgia on Sunday morning. We had a lovely day...ate a nice meal, opened gifts, watched a cheesy Disney Christmas movie that was on tv...sad thing was that every one of us was sucked into it and couldn't stop watching. We laughed together...we always do. Family is so special...we "get" each other. I don't have to explain my off hand comments or jokes to them, unless it's my dad and it's sarcastic...but we always find humor in something and it doesn't take much. I love being around my siblings and my "in law." We talk, we tell stories, we reminisce, we make new memories...and it's so simple, yet empowering and comforting...to know who you are and to know that others know you and love you just the same.
Christmas morning, we were lazy...got up and ate breakfast and sent off Jamie and Melonie. My mom and I watched a church service and I had one of those "moments" that we've prayed for...of recognition of the importance of the celebration of Jesus' birth. I teared up a little, gave thanks, and hugged my mom. We ordered Chinese food for lunch...I had a nice conversation with the owners of the restaurant and wished them a twinkle eyed "Merry Christmas!" And after lunch, my sister and I headed to the beach...it was 85 degrees...I was wearing gym shorts, an angry birds t-shirt, and flip flops...what more could a girl ask for on her birthday?! We walked the beach, were amazed at how many people were there, felt the sand between our toes, the cold water at our ankles, and stared out into the vast expanse of ocean meeting the sky in silence and wonder. My spirit breathed...I relaxed...and was thankful yet again for small moments of joy.
That night, we had birthday dinner, cake, and presents again. And it was just nice.
And then Monday came...my mom and dad left for Georgia and my sister and I were left to eat lunch with my grandma (her back had been bothering her the whole time we were there...she just was trying to cover it). She ate, went down for a nap, and got up asking us to call an ambulance. If you don't know this already, my grandmother is pretty stubborn and when her mind is set, it is hard to change it...hmmm...help me Lord. So, after deliberation and talking, we did as she asked and ended up in the ER with her that afternoon and part of the night. She didn't have to stay in the hospital, but it put us in charge of taking care of her, filling prescriptions, getting her food, etc. I have immense respect for care-givers...
It was a privilege to stay...to care of my grandma...I'm not going to lie and say it was easy, but she took care of us so much when we were young...and it felt good to be able to do that for her. I saw her in a fragile state...she is shrinking, getting weaker, and losing some of her independence...I slept in the same bed as her for two nights and woke up next to a grandma I didn't recognize...she is wrinkled and small. And growing up, her attitude itself was big enough to make her look like a giant.
Things change...every year I am taken aback by the changes in myself and in others...we don't know what next Christmas will look like or what will happen in the next year...but are we doing the best we can now? Do I love people enough to see them at their weakest and to stay? To comfort those in need and to be comforted when I am in need? One of the themes I've seen throughout my writings for this advent season is that life happens. Most of the time, we don't know what will come, but we do have a choice in how we respond. We can cry, and we will...we can laugh...and we will...and in all of it, we must choose to reflect, to carry on, to make others' lives better because we have chosen to give of ourselves and the gift of life we have so graciously been given.
Merry Christmas! Happy Advent! Merry, Happy, Joyous, Insane Life! :)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Day 21...
A few reflections from The Message, verses from Luke 2
"I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide:"
--Not just for some...not for those who understood beforehand or who could build the temples...but for everyone...and not just for Jews or certain people groups...everybody, covering the earth.
"Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!"
--In this moment, Mary is truly a mother...I think of how mother's must ponder and treasure those first moments with their new baby...and those feelings cannot be shared with anyone else, not even the father. She planted those thoughts and feelings deep within her, perhaps because she knew how special they were...and how she would need them later.
"In Jerusalem at the time, there was a man, Simeon by name, a good man, a man who lived in the prayerful expectancy of help for Israel. And the Holy Spirit was on him. The Holy Spirit had shown him that he would see the Messiah of God before he died. Led by the Spirit, he entered the Temple. As the parents of the child Jesus brought him in to carry out the rituals of the Law, Simeon took him into his arms and blessed God:
God, you can now release your servant;
release me in peace as you promised.
With my own eyes I've seen your salvation;
it's now out in the open for everyone to see:
A God-revealing light to the non-Jewish nations,
and of glory for your people Israel.
Jesus' father and mother were speechless with surprise at these words. Simeon went on to bless them, and said to Mary his mother,
This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are."
--Mary and Joseph were simply carrying out tradition as they took Jesus to the Temple and they came across Simeon...imagine holding the knowledge of a Savior and believing it with all of your being...and no one else truly understanding it. It was if everything had come to pass for Simeon and he had seen what he had been waiting for his entire life. I sense relief in his words, "it's now out in the open for everyone to see." We know that Joseph and Mary were told by the angel that Jesus was indeed the Savior they had been waiting for...and they were still speechless and surprised at Simeon's words. I'm the same way...I "know" things, but when God does things, sometimes I am surprised and speechless.
"Rejection will force honesty." When we are stripped of comfort, of self, of all we "know," we are forced into an honest place that we couldn't have imagined. And the refining begins...apparently it started a long time ago.
"I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide:"
--Not just for some...not for those who understood beforehand or who could build the temples...but for everyone...and not just for Jews or certain people groups...everybody, covering the earth.
"Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!"
--In this moment, Mary is truly a mother...I think of how mother's must ponder and treasure those first moments with their new baby...and those feelings cannot be shared with anyone else, not even the father. She planted those thoughts and feelings deep within her, perhaps because she knew how special they were...and how she would need them later.
"In Jerusalem at the time, there was a man, Simeon by name, a good man, a man who lived in the prayerful expectancy of help for Israel. And the Holy Spirit was on him. The Holy Spirit had shown him that he would see the Messiah of God before he died. Led by the Spirit, he entered the Temple. As the parents of the child Jesus brought him in to carry out the rituals of the Law, Simeon took him into his arms and blessed God:
God, you can now release your servant;
release me in peace as you promised.
With my own eyes I've seen your salvation;
it's now out in the open for everyone to see:
A God-revealing light to the non-Jewish nations,
and of glory for your people Israel.
Jesus' father and mother were speechless with surprise at these words. Simeon went on to bless them, and said to Mary his mother,
This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are."
--Mary and Joseph were simply carrying out tradition as they took Jesus to the Temple and they came across Simeon...imagine holding the knowledge of a Savior and believing it with all of your being...and no one else truly understanding it. It was if everything had come to pass for Simeon and he had seen what he had been waiting for his entire life. I sense relief in his words, "it's now out in the open for everyone to see." We know that Joseph and Mary were told by the angel that Jesus was indeed the Savior they had been waiting for...and they were still speechless and surprised at Simeon's words. I'm the same way...I "know" things, but when God does things, sometimes I am surprised and speechless.
"Rejection will force honesty." When we are stripped of comfort, of self, of all we "know," we are forced into an honest place that we couldn't have imagined. And the refining begins...apparently it started a long time ago.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
5 Days To Go...
Well, I got quite the surprise last night...what I thought would be a nice quiet dinner among friends turned into a huge party. Laura picked me up for dinner and when we walked into the restaurant, I looked around, still not suspecting a thing...and then heard "Surprise!" I almost looked behind me to see who was the recipient...and then realized it was me! I have some sneaky friends...but wonderful ones.
This is no pity party by any means...I haven't had a "friend" birthday party since middle school...I don't really think about it because I'm always with my family for Christmas. This was a complete surprise and delight. As I made my way through the restaurant to greet people and thank them, I was blown away that they all came. It was as if many of my worlds came together...to celebrate life as we live it together. I had just written about "home" and community and how blessed I feel by it all...and they did all of that for me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to grasp the scope of God's love. When people do things for me, I feel at a loss...accepting gifts and help is hard sometimes. We want to be self-sufficient, independent, and in control. When others give...when they give of themselves, their time, and their love for us, it can be uncomfortable. But, if we neglect to accept these gifts of the people around us, we impoverish ourselves...and we don't learn how to give graciously ourselves. And many times we don't accept that God loves us unconditionally...enough to take our brokenness, our guilt, our messy selves and make them something good. God surprises us...we know about God's love...but do we accept it, embrace it, and recycle it? Be surprised today...and soak it all in...then wring it out on someone else. I know I'm glad others have done that for me.
This is no pity party by any means...I haven't had a "friend" birthday party since middle school...I don't really think about it because I'm always with my family for Christmas. This was a complete surprise and delight. As I made my way through the restaurant to greet people and thank them, I was blown away that they all came. It was as if many of my worlds came together...to celebrate life as we live it together. I had just written about "home" and community and how blessed I feel by it all...and they did all of that for me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to grasp the scope of God's love. When people do things for me, I feel at a loss...accepting gifts and help is hard sometimes. We want to be self-sufficient, independent, and in control. When others give...when they give of themselves, their time, and their love for us, it can be uncomfortable. But, if we neglect to accept these gifts of the people around us, we impoverish ourselves...and we don't learn how to give graciously ourselves. And many times we don't accept that God loves us unconditionally...enough to take our brokenness, our guilt, our messy selves and make them something good. God surprises us...we know about God's love...but do we accept it, embrace it, and recycle it? Be surprised today...and soak it all in...then wring it out on someone else. I know I'm glad others have done that for me.
Monday, December 19, 2011
December 19th...
"Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear.
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus."
Luke 1:11-12, 29-31
"Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:19-21
Last night, a group of women went to a nursing home to sing Christmas music to the residents. During the "service," someone read the Christmas story, the Scripture from Luke. I've heard that passage many times, but this time, the part about the angel appearing to Mary and her reaction stuck out to me. She was troubled...Zechariah was gripped with fear...Joesph was told not to be afraid...
Fear, trembling, startled...all of these were emotions felt by people that God used...to save the world. They weren't superheroes...they didn't fly; they didn't preach eloquent sermons; they didn't ask for prosperity in politics or leadership...they were ordinary people who got scared when angels talked to them. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if an angel spoke to me...I know I would be scared though. But, their response is what matters...they accepted...Zechariah was silent for a while to soak it all in...Mary accepted and rejoiced with a song...Joseph married a woman pregnant in a way he couldn't fathom.
Angels may not appear to us...but God speaks. The Holy Spirit asks us to do things all the time that stretch us, that seem awkward, that sometimes seem ordinary to us, but could be extraordinary to someone else. Someone's gold is someone else's bread. The good news of the Gospel is just that...it is bread for one person...it is an angel speaking to another...it is clean water...it is a Savior...it is a good night's sleep....but it is good. And it is news, so it is worthy of telling, of sharing...and some people might be scared or even tremble when they hear it...God speaks...are you listening...and are you being spoken through?
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus."
Luke 1:11-12, 29-31
"Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:19-21
Last night, a group of women went to a nursing home to sing Christmas music to the residents. During the "service," someone read the Christmas story, the Scripture from Luke. I've heard that passage many times, but this time, the part about the angel appearing to Mary and her reaction stuck out to me. She was troubled...Zechariah was gripped with fear...Joesph was told not to be afraid...
Fear, trembling, startled...all of these were emotions felt by people that God used...to save the world. They weren't superheroes...they didn't fly; they didn't preach eloquent sermons; they didn't ask for prosperity in politics or leadership...they were ordinary people who got scared when angels talked to them. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if an angel spoke to me...I know I would be scared though. But, their response is what matters...they accepted...Zechariah was silent for a while to soak it all in...Mary accepted and rejoiced with a song...Joseph married a woman pregnant in a way he couldn't fathom.
Angels may not appear to us...but God speaks. The Holy Spirit asks us to do things all the time that stretch us, that seem awkward, that sometimes seem ordinary to us, but could be extraordinary to someone else. Someone's gold is someone else's bread. The good news of the Gospel is just that...it is bread for one person...it is an angel speaking to another...it is clean water...it is a Savior...it is a good night's sleep....but it is good. And it is news, so it is worthy of telling, of sharing...and some people might be scared or even tremble when they hear it...God speaks...are you listening...and are you being spoken through?
Day 18
At church today, I felt a sense of joy that I haven't felt in a while...we sang "Go Tell It On the Mountain" and then "Joy to the World." People were smiling, singing, and enjoying themselves. This is a serious season, but it is also full of laughter, smiles, anticipations of what is to come, and even dancing. And why shouldn't it be? Yes, there is a time for reflection, for silence...but don't forget to rejoice, to see the anticipation of Christmas Day in the eyes of a child, to dance a little to Christmas music, to laugh at the crazy Christmas decorations portraying Santa kneeling beside baby Jesus...it's all a part of the celebration.
One of my favorite themes of the Bible is the idea that joy and sorrow are intertwined...you will experience both...sometimes you experience joy as a result of emerging from the duration of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow hits you hard after you have experienced great joy. But that's just it...they will both come...so celebrate life...all of it. And don't forget to look in the mirror and not take yourself too seriously...
One of my favorite themes of the Bible is the idea that joy and sorrow are intertwined...you will experience both...sometimes you experience joy as a result of emerging from the duration of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow hits you hard after you have experienced great joy. But that's just it...they will both come...so celebrate life...all of it. And don't forget to look in the mirror and not take yourself too seriously...
And on the 17th Day...
Last night, I babysat for some dear friends...we ended up going over to their grandmother's house for them to spend the night...the youngest is 2 years old and she was so excited to see her new cousin! Upon seeing her, she yelled "Ellie!!!" and her face lit up. I'm pretty sure she would be content to "hold" that baby for Christmas...oh the subtle reminders of what is important...and children will lead the way to Christ. As I stood in their grandmother's kitchen, which I have done countless times, I looked over at the Christmas tree. It was gorgeous...full of white lights...glowing. I had this overwhelming feeling of light...of thankfulness...these people love me. I love them. I am given the privilege of caring for their children and grandchildren...they entrust me with their care.
We moved around a lot when I was growing up...the curse of the minister's family...but it wasn't a curse...it taught me how to meet people, adjust, be flexible...and it taught me what a true home is. Home is not a place...yes, there is sentiment attached to certain places and memories follow every place. But, home is our responsibility...we create it wherever we are. Just as Jesus travelled and invited others to join him in doing good, we must do that for others. And in so doing, we experience home...a sense of belonging, a security...challenging ourselves and each other to be better.
In that kitchen, I realized how bright my life is...because of the people God has allowed me to be home to...and who have invited me home in so many ways. We all belong to each other...have you invited anyone in lately?
We moved around a lot when I was growing up...the curse of the minister's family...but it wasn't a curse...it taught me how to meet people, adjust, be flexible...and it taught me what a true home is. Home is not a place...yes, there is sentiment attached to certain places and memories follow every place. But, home is our responsibility...we create it wherever we are. Just as Jesus travelled and invited others to join him in doing good, we must do that for others. And in so doing, we experience home...a sense of belonging, a security...challenging ourselves and each other to be better.
In that kitchen, I realized how bright my life is...because of the people God has allowed me to be home to...and who have invited me home in so many ways. We all belong to each other...have you invited anyone in lately?
Friday, December 16, 2011
Day 16...
But, I took a chance. In the book, Ameer is the main character. His best friend and companion is Ra, a dog he saved from drowning with the other runts of other litters. He is traveling in a large caravan with the three wise men, or kings, leading the caravan to go see the King, Jesus. While traveling, every person is gathering his or her best to present to the King. Ameer feels at a loss because he has nothing...he is poor...he is at the back of the caravan, and he has nothing to offer. When they arrive, he is surprised to be in Bethlehem, a bustling city that is not likely for a King. Then they approach the place where they will find Jesus and he stands in awe that the King is in such a dirty, un-kingly (yes, I made that up) place. He goes to the back of the line and doesn't want to see the King because he is shamed that he has nothing to present...But, he gets pushed into the line because of all of the chaos. So, as he enters, he describes Joseph and Mary as "a man and woman in peasant clothing." He falls to his knees at the sight of the baby with his parents. And in that moment, he decides to give all he has to this baby King...he gives them Ra, his only possession. Mary tells him that it is the most precious gift they have received because he gave all he had.
I hope that I grasp this small, yet profound truth---that giving is better than receiving. And if we give all we have, we will receive so much more in return. Why can't we let go?
A few years ago, I was living in Chicago...we lived on the top floor of a two-story flat...below us lived two sister and their kids. I will never forget this---one day, one of the sisters stopped me outside of the apartment, on the sidewalk, and said, "I've been meaning to tell you, we have some extra money on our food stamps card, so if y'all ever need it, just let me know." I almost started crying right there...it seems small, but was huge to us that she cared enough for us to share what she had.
Give. God started a long time ago...and hasn't stopped. Why have we?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
10 days 'til Christmas...really?!
Last night brought back a flood of memories for me...some members of our church went to sing at an assisted living home. As I walked in, I saw the men and women living at the home sitting, waiting. I got the same feeling of discomfort I always get when in a situation like that...I suddenly don't know what to say or how to approach the people. This may surprise you about me...but it's true. Thankfully I had parents who pushed in that regard--they didn't give us an option about meeting people, talking to them, and getting over ourselves. So, I worked my way around the room, introducing myself and commenting on Christmas sweaters, the enormous Christmas tree, and what they had for supper.
The kids arrived and sang...then we sang a few selections...and finally, we all sang Christmas carols together. At the conclusion of the singing, we were mingling...the kids were walking around the room, passing out cards and giving and receiving hugs. And I got a little choked up...I had flashbacks from childhood--of being surrounded by the smells of the nursing home...discomfort...and reaching out to hold frail, cold hands...of kissing wrinkled faces...of gazing into old, yet clear blue eyes...of hugging grandmothers and grandfathers that were not my own. And I realized in that moment how important those times were. They softened my heart. They made me who I am today. They changed my heart to a greater purpose. They taught me about love.
After that, we went to the Alzheimer's unit of the building and sang for them. The piano was incredibly out of tune...I got tickled at that. Then a lady in the back put her fingers in her ears and started yelling, "It's just noise! Noise! Noise!" And we kept singing. We sang "Mary Did You Know?" and I got teary-eyed again..."the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again...the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb." I couldn't help but think of the people in front of me...how they long to be healed physically and for their minds to be clear again. And they will experience that healing one day.
Then we sang some carols...always amazes me that Alzheimer patients remember every word. As we were singing "Winter Wonderland," a 99 year old woman came up to me at the front, in her wheelchair, and started dancing with me. I went with it--swayed, shook, sang...all of it. She said, "You are just the prettiest thing...and a good dancer. And I just love all of you." Then she told me that she was starting to perspire. I hugged her and a few others...one had cold hands...so I said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?" She said, "Yeah (giggle) and dirty feet, no sweetheart!"
Joy and wisdom are found in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. You never know what you're gonna get.
The kids arrived and sang...then we sang a few selections...and finally, we all sang Christmas carols together. At the conclusion of the singing, we were mingling...the kids were walking around the room, passing out cards and giving and receiving hugs. And I got a little choked up...I had flashbacks from childhood--of being surrounded by the smells of the nursing home...discomfort...and reaching out to hold frail, cold hands...of kissing wrinkled faces...of gazing into old, yet clear blue eyes...of hugging grandmothers and grandfathers that were not my own. And I realized in that moment how important those times were. They softened my heart. They made me who I am today. They changed my heart to a greater purpose. They taught me about love.
After that, we went to the Alzheimer's unit of the building and sang for them. The piano was incredibly out of tune...I got tickled at that. Then a lady in the back put her fingers in her ears and started yelling, "It's just noise! Noise! Noise!" And we kept singing. We sang "Mary Did You Know?" and I got teary-eyed again..."the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again...the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb." I couldn't help but think of the people in front of me...how they long to be healed physically and for their minds to be clear again. And they will experience that healing one day.
Then we sang some carols...always amazes me that Alzheimer patients remember every word. As we were singing "Winter Wonderland," a 99 year old woman came up to me at the front, in her wheelchair, and started dancing with me. I went with it--swayed, shook, sang...all of it. She said, "You are just the prettiest thing...and a good dancer. And I just love all of you." Then she told me that she was starting to perspire. I hugged her and a few others...one had cold hands...so I said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?" She said, "Yeah (giggle) and dirty feet, no sweetheart!"
Joy and wisdom are found in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. You never know what you're gonna get.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The 14th Day
Happy Birthday to Sumi! :)
I am absolutely exhausted...the season and the kids are getting to me...do you feel it? I must be at the top of the hump of Wednesday and I'm going to have to coast down the rest of the week...we have five days of school before Christmas break.
I am not a shopper. I loathe it...I honestly don't understand the thrill that so many women (and my dad) talk about when they find a good deal or just "window shop." Well, last night I broke down and went Christmas shopping...hadn't done any up until that point. I had two stores on my list...yes, that's right...two. My good friend was gracious enough to endure it with me...we went to downtown Knoxville and had dinner at a nice restaurant...so it was bearable. ;)
We finished dinner and walked around for a bit in the mild December weather...they have an ice-rink in the middle of Market Square so we just watched people skating for a while. There were kids falling all over the place...I laughed more at memories of myself doing that same thing years ago. Then there was a couple...she came along the side of the rink and was doing the ice skate shuffle, eyes bugging out...I gave her a few tips and she started skating more freely around the rink...then her boyfriend joined her and he was skating, leading with his head! It was quite entertaining. And next to me was a dad holding his 10 month old baby...the baby played peek-a-boo with me for a while and laughed.
I stopped for a moment, breathed deeply, and heard the laughter and joy of this season. Kids being kids. Adults being kids. People who don't know each other sharing moments of happiness. It was good. Take time to breathe and listen today. It's worthwhile.
I am absolutely exhausted...the season and the kids are getting to me...do you feel it? I must be at the top of the hump of Wednesday and I'm going to have to coast down the rest of the week...we have five days of school before Christmas break.
I am not a shopper. I loathe it...I honestly don't understand the thrill that so many women (and my dad) talk about when they find a good deal or just "window shop." Well, last night I broke down and went Christmas shopping...hadn't done any up until that point. I had two stores on my list...yes, that's right...two. My good friend was gracious enough to endure it with me...we went to downtown Knoxville and had dinner at a nice restaurant...so it was bearable. ;)
We finished dinner and walked around for a bit in the mild December weather...they have an ice-rink in the middle of Market Square so we just watched people skating for a while. There were kids falling all over the place...I laughed more at memories of myself doing that same thing years ago. Then there was a couple...she came along the side of the rink and was doing the ice skate shuffle, eyes bugging out...I gave her a few tips and she started skating more freely around the rink...then her boyfriend joined her and he was skating, leading with his head! It was quite entertaining. And next to me was a dad holding his 10 month old baby...the baby played peek-a-boo with me for a while and laughed.
I stopped for a moment, breathed deeply, and heard the laughter and joy of this season. Kids being kids. Adults being kids. People who don't know each other sharing moments of happiness. It was good. Take time to breathe and listen today. It's worthwhile.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The 13th Day...
Happy Birthday to my dear friend Yudai! December birthdays unite! ;)
This morning I was listening to an eclectic mix of country, pop, Christmas music, sports radio, and a cd...I got tired of switching around so I landed on the cd...it was the music from the movie Once. I started thinking about the movie and really listening to the words of the songs. I don't know if you've seen the movie or not...hopefully this won't ruin anything for you. Well, the movie is about a musician who has tried to "make it" unsuccessfully for a long time. He's selling vacuum cleaners, the family business, his girlfriend has just left him, and he's pretty disappointed in life...his life. And he doesn't know how to move forward, how to change things, how to have a different life...
And then one day he happens upon a woman...a vacuum cleaner brought them together...and he discovers that she plays the piano and sings...and they have these magical moments of making music together and it is as if the two reach a magical place...a place where they are fully themselves and lost in the art of creating beautiful music. Well, they both end up "falling" for the other...and you kind of want them to get together because of what they share....but they end up figuring out that they aren't really in love with each other, but with the music that they've found together. She believes in him...truly and honestly believes in him and the gift he's been given...she hopes for him...and he falls in love with that belief. She loves what she sees in him...the art, the abandonment of making music, and getting caught up in it all...but she realizes that her family....giving her husband another chance and loving and caring for her daughter are more important than chasing abandonment.
Do you ever stop to try to comprehend the belief God has in you? It's hard for me to comprehend love that runs that deeply? I get a taste of it from my parents...I know that they believe in me, hope for me, and love me in a way that I don't fully understand yet...and God's love is greater than that. Do I love people that way? Do I even try?
And the love that God felt for his son...as a Father and as God....too much for my mortal mind to wrap itself around...
This morning I was listening to an eclectic mix of country, pop, Christmas music, sports radio, and a cd...I got tired of switching around so I landed on the cd...it was the music from the movie Once. I started thinking about the movie and really listening to the words of the songs. I don't know if you've seen the movie or not...hopefully this won't ruin anything for you. Well, the movie is about a musician who has tried to "make it" unsuccessfully for a long time. He's selling vacuum cleaners, the family business, his girlfriend has just left him, and he's pretty disappointed in life...his life. And he doesn't know how to move forward, how to change things, how to have a different life...
And then one day he happens upon a woman...a vacuum cleaner brought them together...and he discovers that she plays the piano and sings...and they have these magical moments of making music together and it is as if the two reach a magical place...a place where they are fully themselves and lost in the art of creating beautiful music. Well, they both end up "falling" for the other...and you kind of want them to get together because of what they share....but they end up figuring out that they aren't really in love with each other, but with the music that they've found together. She believes in him...truly and honestly believes in him and the gift he's been given...she hopes for him...and he falls in love with that belief. She loves what she sees in him...the art, the abandonment of making music, and getting caught up in it all...but she realizes that her family....giving her husband another chance and loving and caring for her daughter are more important than chasing abandonment.
Do you ever stop to try to comprehend the belief God has in you? It's hard for me to comprehend love that runs that deeply? I get a taste of it from my parents...I know that they believe in me, hope for me, and love me in a way that I don't fully understand yet...and God's love is greater than that. Do I love people that way? Do I even try?
And the love that God felt for his son...as a Father and as God....too much for my mortal mind to wrap itself around...
Monday, December 12, 2011
Day 12
This morning I awoke quite drearily...don't know if that's a word or not, but go with me. I usually wake up and pop out of bed...not happily and enthusiastically, but I don't mind the morning. This morning, it was too cold, my bed was too warm, and it was soooo dark. Anyway, I did get up after a minute, and had this thought,
"We all wake up, but we have to choose to get up."
Yes, my brain is a mystery sometimes...to think at 5:40 in the morning. Andrew Peterson sings a song and some of the lyrics say, "Rise up O you sleeper! The day of the dawn is upon you! Rise up O you sleeper, awake! He makes all things new!"
As followers of Jesus, we have the Spirit of God coming to us every day...we talk circles around the second coming, and yet, the coming is happening every day...in preparation for the day that none of us really knows about. We do know that we have been given this time, these days, these people, this work, these gifts, and on and on...and Jesus comes...advent happens in our lives every day. Wake up! But don't just wake up...get up! The Spirit is within us...stirring us, spurring us on to greater things...have you chosen to get up today?
"We all wake up, but we have to choose to get up."
Yes, my brain is a mystery sometimes...to think at 5:40 in the morning. Andrew Peterson sings a song and some of the lyrics say, "Rise up O you sleeper! The day of the dawn is upon you! Rise up O you sleeper, awake! He makes all things new!"
As followers of Jesus, we have the Spirit of God coming to us every day...we talk circles around the second coming, and yet, the coming is happening every day...in preparation for the day that none of us really knows about. We do know that we have been given this time, these days, these people, this work, these gifts, and on and on...and Jesus comes...advent happens in our lives every day. Wake up! But don't just wake up...get up! The Spirit is within us...stirring us, spurring us on to greater things...have you chosen to get up today?
Day 11
Excerpts from our Christmas music presentation--
"The sun shall be no more, no light by day.
Neither for brightness shall the moon give light.
But the Lord shall be until thee an everlasting light.
And thy God shall be thy glory.
And the days of thy mourning shall be ended."
"And Joseph said, Why me?
I'm just a simple man of trade.
Why him with all the rulers in the world?
Why here inside this stable filled with hay?
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl?
Now, I'm not one to second-guess what angels have to say,
But this is such a strange way to save the world."
Where there is darkness, we now have light.
Where there is wilderness, we have a guide.
Where there is mourning, God creates joy.
Where there are questions, we have a Savior.
Where there is doubt, there are babies born.
And it is all blessing...not prosperity....but blessing.
Blessing recognizes doubt.
It embraces suffering.
Blessing allows questions.
Blessing comes from the deep recesses of souls,
Souls that often experience the silence of God,
The often bow-legged walking of those trying to walk in faith,
The cries of those who have lost mothers and sons,
Of those who know the strangeness of our God,
Who would choose a baby to come and save the world.
"The sun shall be no more, no light by day.
Neither for brightness shall the moon give light.
But the Lord shall be until thee an everlasting light.
And thy God shall be thy glory.
And the days of thy mourning shall be ended."
"And Joseph said, Why me?
I'm just a simple man of trade.
Why him with all the rulers in the world?
Why here inside this stable filled with hay?
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl?
Now, I'm not one to second-guess what angels have to say,
But this is such a strange way to save the world."
Where there is darkness, we now have light.
Where there is wilderness, we have a guide.
Where there is mourning, God creates joy.
Where there are questions, we have a Savior.
Where there is doubt, there are babies born.
And it is all blessing...not prosperity....but blessing.
Blessing recognizes doubt.
It embraces suffering.
Blessing allows questions.
Blessing comes from the deep recesses of souls,
Souls that often experience the silence of God,
The often bow-legged walking of those trying to walk in faith,
The cries of those who have lost mothers and sons,
Of those who know the strangeness of our God,
Who would choose a baby to come and save the world.
Day 10
Most of you know that I come from two distinct backgrounds....my mom is originally from Buffalo, NY and my dad is from southwest Georgia....she grew up in the city and he grew up in the middle of tobacco fields. And somehow they got together and now have three children that are about as diverse as their backgrounds.
So, growing up, holidays were interesting...I only see that now in hindsight...at the time they seemed completely normal because that's all I knew. Thanksgivings consisted of stuffing, whipped squash, and pumpkin pie....while the other consisted of cornbread dressing, sweet potato casserole, and pecan pie. Christmas was different too...not necessarily because of where the grandparents were from, but just because they were different. We had my grandma (mom's mom) to ourselves for most of the holiday...and she wrapped everything, had present under her tree, etc...
My dad's mom and dad (Mama Jig and Poppy) were simple people...they put up a tree, but often only because the grandkids were coming over. Mama Jig would take my sister and me to the local department store, Belk, and we would pick out and try on a new dress or outfit. She would buy it and promptly take it to the gift wrap counter to be wrapped and kept until Christmas. I can still see her walking through the store, touching every other shirt or piece of clothing, turning the sleeves of the shirts up to check the craftmanship of the sewing. She loved to feel fabrics and know how they were made...she was a seamstress with one hand. We usually got clothes, one or two packages, from Mama Jig and Poppy...and we always tried to act surprised when we opened the packages on Christmas.
Were those gifts any less simply because we already knew what was inside? No.....and thinking about it now, I realize that we know what we're getting every year during this advent season. We know the story. We know about baby Jesus...we know how it turns out, but is it devalued because we already know what we're getting? Absolutely not. This gift of a Savior is only diminished if we forget to recognize it, appreciate it for what it is, and seek to give it away. It's wrapped every year and we know what's in it...do we even bother to open it? Jesus is waiting inside....inside you, inside me....be a kid again.....open it, share him.
So, growing up, holidays were interesting...I only see that now in hindsight...at the time they seemed completely normal because that's all I knew. Thanksgivings consisted of stuffing, whipped squash, and pumpkin pie....while the other consisted of cornbread dressing, sweet potato casserole, and pecan pie. Christmas was different too...not necessarily because of where the grandparents were from, but just because they were different. We had my grandma (mom's mom) to ourselves for most of the holiday...and she wrapped everything, had present under her tree, etc...
My dad's mom and dad (Mama Jig and Poppy) were simple people...they put up a tree, but often only because the grandkids were coming over. Mama Jig would take my sister and me to the local department store, Belk, and we would pick out and try on a new dress or outfit. She would buy it and promptly take it to the gift wrap counter to be wrapped and kept until Christmas. I can still see her walking through the store, touching every other shirt or piece of clothing, turning the sleeves of the shirts up to check the craftmanship of the sewing. She loved to feel fabrics and know how they were made...she was a seamstress with one hand. We usually got clothes, one or two packages, from Mama Jig and Poppy...and we always tried to act surprised when we opened the packages on Christmas.
Were those gifts any less simply because we already knew what was inside? No.....and thinking about it now, I realize that we know what we're getting every year during this advent season. We know the story. We know about baby Jesus...we know how it turns out, but is it devalued because we already know what we're getting? Absolutely not. This gift of a Savior is only diminished if we forget to recognize it, appreciate it for what it is, and seek to give it away. It's wrapped every year and we know what's in it...do we even bother to open it? Jesus is waiting inside....inside you, inside me....be a kid again.....open it, share him.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Day 9...
Honestly, it took me looking at the calendar to figure out that it is December 9...it is definitely Friday! The mountains looked like cotton candy this morning...they were purpley-blue and the sky above them consisted of shades of pink and orange...I said (outloud) "Wow..."
I teach preschool choir...I have been teaching preschool choir off and on for 14 years now...whoa...started when I was 15...you do the math...some of the kids that I taught those first years are now in college. Does time fly or what?
So, I was teaching this past week and we talked about good news versus bad news. They gave me several examples of each and then we talked about Jesus coming to earth as a baby, dying for us, and God raising him from the dead. Well, I didn't know they were listening so intently until one of my good friends called me last night and said she was asking her little girl "Who was born in Bethlehem? Who died on a cross? Who did God raise from the dead." And her daughter answered "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" Then to the question about God raising Jesus from death, she said, "Yeah, that was weird, but cool!" Laura just thought she was being an incredibly thoughtful 4 year old, but then her daughter said, "That's what Melodie says!" hahaha...like my theology for 4 year olds?! Jesus is weird, but cool!
That night, another kid said, "Yeah, Jesus came for everybody, but only the good people." I hated to burst his bubble, but I said, "Well, actually, he came for bad people too." You should have seen that little boy's face...jaw dropped open...he was speechless.
Jesus is weird, cool, and still gives grace...reflect on that for a bit.
I teach preschool choir...I have been teaching preschool choir off and on for 14 years now...whoa...started when I was 15...you do the math...some of the kids that I taught those first years are now in college. Does time fly or what?
So, I was teaching this past week and we talked about good news versus bad news. They gave me several examples of each and then we talked about Jesus coming to earth as a baby, dying for us, and God raising him from the dead. Well, I didn't know they were listening so intently until one of my good friends called me last night and said she was asking her little girl "Who was born in Bethlehem? Who died on a cross? Who did God raise from the dead." And her daughter answered "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" Then to the question about God raising Jesus from death, she said, "Yeah, that was weird, but cool!" Laura just thought she was being an incredibly thoughtful 4 year old, but then her daughter said, "That's what Melodie says!" hahaha...like my theology for 4 year olds?! Jesus is weird, but cool!
That night, another kid said, "Yeah, Jesus came for everybody, but only the good people." I hated to burst his bubble, but I said, "Well, actually, he came for bad people too." You should have seen that little boy's face...jaw dropped open...he was speechless.
Jesus is weird, cool, and still gives grace...reflect on that for a bit.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Day 8...
The hint of snow came yesterday to east Tennessee...and with it, the crossed fingers of many teachers and students to get one day off...alas, it didn't happen...hope deferred for another day.
This morning's reading had a quote which made me stare wide-eyed at the page...it said to truly love someone is to, first of all, see the beauty in that person. During this season, I find it easy to give money to a charity or organization and to feel like I did something good for a moment. Don't get me wrong, those acts of giving are important and worthwhile, but do I regularly look at the people around me and love them? Do I see beauty in them? Or do I just give them things in the hopes that they will see Jesus?
Then I heard a song that says, "Your will above all else, my purpose remains.
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise."
When I look back to the times when I have learned the most, or have been the most "teachable," I realize that they are the times when I felt at a loss....the loss of a loved one, the loss of my so-called identity, the loss that my parents felt as they left church ministry, the loss of childhood, college, etc...in those moments of not knowing, of questioning, of doubt, of feeling lost...in those moments we cry out for someone else to take over, to steady us, to make our purpose clear...and our purpose is to love...which, ironically, leads to more uncertainty if we do it trying to see the beauty in others.
Vinvent Van Gogh said, "The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."
How's your art looking these days? Jesus was born in a messy place...a strange painting of a King coming to his people. Jesus lived in a messy way...painted a crazy picture for people who decided to follow him without reserve...and they lived in ways that didn't make sense to others, even the "most" religious of his day. So, how are your paintings, sketches, scultures, and such coming along? Messy? Good.....you must be becoming more like Jesus.
This morning's reading had a quote which made me stare wide-eyed at the page...it said to truly love someone is to, first of all, see the beauty in that person. During this season, I find it easy to give money to a charity or organization and to feel like I did something good for a moment. Don't get me wrong, those acts of giving are important and worthwhile, but do I regularly look at the people around me and love them? Do I see beauty in them? Or do I just give them things in the hopes that they will see Jesus?
Then I heard a song that says, "Your will above all else, my purpose remains.
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise."
When I look back to the times when I have learned the most, or have been the most "teachable," I realize that they are the times when I felt at a loss....the loss of a loved one, the loss of my so-called identity, the loss that my parents felt as they left church ministry, the loss of childhood, college, etc...in those moments of not knowing, of questioning, of doubt, of feeling lost...in those moments we cry out for someone else to take over, to steady us, to make our purpose clear...and our purpose is to love...which, ironically, leads to more uncertainty if we do it trying to see the beauty in others.
Vinvent Van Gogh said, "The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."
How's your art looking these days? Jesus was born in a messy place...a strange painting of a King coming to his people. Jesus lived in a messy way...painted a crazy picture for people who decided to follow him without reserve...and they lived in ways that didn't make sense to others, even the "most" religious of his day. So, how are your paintings, sketches, scultures, and such coming along? Messy? Good.....you must be becoming more like Jesus.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Day 7
This morning, I read the following quote, "An emporer should be in the church, not over it."
Check this out....think about the way we receive rulers, kings, presidents, and emporers...
Now, imagine with me for a moment, how Jesus was received...
This morning, I read the following quote, "An emporer should be in the church, not over it."
Check this out....think about the way we receive rulers, kings, presidents, and emporers...
Now, imagine with me for a moment, how Jesus was received...
Was it in a dark cave?
Or among animals, in the straw and cow trough?
Either way, we know that Jesus was not received as the royalty that he was...he was born among animals, under the night sky. We didn't have room to receive him. The animals did...creation did...it groaned for its King.
We still look for leaders and things of God to come in ways that are acceptable to us...ways that we "understand." We make Jesus look the way that we want him to look...the way he looks from our perspective. And yet, Jesus comes in the least expected ways--in the "baaa" of a sheep, in the cry of an infant, in the questions of the unbelieving, on the streets of Wall Streets, in the cardboard box of the homeless mother, in the broken-down car of the struggling father...Jesus hasn't stopped coming...he is an emporer in the church...not just over it.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Day 6
I do love this time of year. My dad does too, especially the decorating aspect of the season. I promise you, every year I find something else added to the attic...another wreath, another box of ornaments, etc. Twlinking lights, wreaths hung, brilliant reds, garland strung along banisters, hand-crafted ornaments hung from lit up trees, candles lit, everything decked out in Christmas splendor...
All of the physical representations of Christmas have come to signal the season for me--even piped in Christmas music and smells of apples and cinnamon have an effect on me in the most unlikely or uninviting places (AKA Walmart). Last night, I found myself singing every Christmas carol, fairly loudly, in the lawn and garden section of Walmart, now transformed into Christmas on crack. There's nothing wrong with the decorations, the smells, the music, or the feelings...
This morning I read a passage of scripture in the New Testament that spoke of the ornamental temple, the buildings, and all of the physical attributes of worship...and after they went on and on about these things, Jesus told them that none of that matters. He refocused them on thoughts of the eternal instead of the temporary. So...all of the attemtion we give to decorating, to making things more physically appealing...it's ok, but to a point. Attention to matters of our own hearts and others' will sustain us...for the Kingdom work today and for eternity. This may sound silly, but I long for people to say things like "your eyes twinkle...you are lit up." And shouldn't we be? We carry this season all year long, in who we are...we are sons and daughters...adopted into this family of faith that reflects the light of a Savior.
All of the physical representations of Christmas have come to signal the season for me--even piped in Christmas music and smells of apples and cinnamon have an effect on me in the most unlikely or uninviting places (AKA Walmart). Last night, I found myself singing every Christmas carol, fairly loudly, in the lawn and garden section of Walmart, now transformed into Christmas on crack. There's nothing wrong with the decorations, the smells, the music, or the feelings...
This morning I read a passage of scripture in the New Testament that spoke of the ornamental temple, the buildings, and all of the physical attributes of worship...and after they went on and on about these things, Jesus told them that none of that matters. He refocused them on thoughts of the eternal instead of the temporary. So...all of the attemtion we give to decorating, to making things more physically appealing...it's ok, but to a point. Attention to matters of our own hearts and others' will sustain us...for the Kingdom work today and for eternity. This may sound silly, but I long for people to say things like "your eyes twinkle...you are lit up." And shouldn't we be? We carry this season all year long, in who we are...we are sons and daughters...adopted into this family of faith that reflects the light of a Savior.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Day 5...Monday Monday
This morning was rushed...I couldn't get ready fast enough, I had to get gas before leaving town, and I took my vitamin before I ate breakfast...big mistake...makes me feel nauseous...bluh. So, I was fighting all of this on my way to work and still trying to still my mind and my stomach. The song "A Baby Changes Everything" came on and that did it...well, at least for my mind.
Part of the song says,
"Teenage girl, much too young
Unprepared for what's to come
A baby changes everything
Not a ring on her hand
All her dreams and all her plans
A baby changes everything."
Now, I'm not a mother...but, I have been privileged to be a part of welcoming many "first" babies into the lives of my friends in the past few years. Babies do change everything--guitars are put away, toys take over living rooms, rooms are converted by cribs and soft pastels, dads become mush, parents become sleep deprived, and on and on...life changes when a baby comes. New life demands change...there's no other option as we accept the new.
Mary's life was turned upside down by the birth of the Christ child...but not just because she birthed Jesus, but because she became a mother for the first time. And, allow me some freedom of speculation here, but I think that, even though there were surprises, uncertainty, and all that comes with being a first time mom, there was also the realization of a dream--to be a mother. Who she was as a woman came to fruition as she birthed her first baby. Isn't that beautiful in its simplicity? A baby changes everything....in a way that deepens a life well lived and purposes fulfilled.
Part of the song says,
"Teenage girl, much too young
Unprepared for what's to come
A baby changes everything
Not a ring on her hand
All her dreams and all her plans
A baby changes everything."
Now, I'm not a mother...but, I have been privileged to be a part of welcoming many "first" babies into the lives of my friends in the past few years. Babies do change everything--guitars are put away, toys take over living rooms, rooms are converted by cribs and soft pastels, dads become mush, parents become sleep deprived, and on and on...life changes when a baby comes. New life demands change...there's no other option as we accept the new.
Mary's life was turned upside down by the birth of the Christ child...but not just because she birthed Jesus, but because she became a mother for the first time. And, allow me some freedom of speculation here, but I think that, even though there were surprises, uncertainty, and all that comes with being a first time mom, there was also the realization of a dream--to be a mother. Who she was as a woman came to fruition as she birthed her first baby. Isn't that beautiful in its simplicity? A baby changes everything....in a way that deepens a life well lived and purposes fulfilled.
Day 4, Sunday
Today's emphasis in church was "Peace." I chuckled inwardly during the service...I do have some filters left and held it in...because the service was like a circus at times...kids moving to get in place to sing, youth up and down to get in place to play handbells, etc, etc...
We got up to sing before the sermon and it was as if everything stilled...I sang these words-
"It's still a mystery to me that the hands of God could be so small,
How tiny fingers reaching in the night could be the hands that measured the sky."
God came to us...not at a "perfect" time, when people expected the arrival of a King, or at a time that was free of conflict...and God did not come in conventional way. God came as a baby--birthed by a teenage girl, no mid-wife or mother to be found, immortal God dependent on mortal man. By coming in this way, God taught us and continues to teach us an important lesson--peace comes despite our surroundings. We can sit around and complain about our nation, our government, the state of the world...we can get bogged down in how "bad" things are these days for our families, ourselves, and our world...
But peace has come to us--as a baby, as a Spirit, as a Creator God, as a cross, as an empty tomb...
And continues to come to us--in new life, in a small voice in the darkness, in a child's laugh, in a friend's smile, in music that moves, in grass that grows...
Do you see it? Do you feel it? Do you recognize that peace lives in your heart? And that you have the capacity to be peace to someone else? Be peace.
We got up to sing before the sermon and it was as if everything stilled...I sang these words-
"It's still a mystery to me that the hands of God could be so small,
How tiny fingers reaching in the night could be the hands that measured the sky."
God came to us...not at a "perfect" time, when people expected the arrival of a King, or at a time that was free of conflict...and God did not come in conventional way. God came as a baby--birthed by a teenage girl, no mid-wife or mother to be found, immortal God dependent on mortal man. By coming in this way, God taught us and continues to teach us an important lesson--peace comes despite our surroundings. We can sit around and complain about our nation, our government, the state of the world...we can get bogged down in how "bad" things are these days for our families, ourselves, and our world...
But peace has come to us--as a baby, as a Spirit, as a Creator God, as a cross, as an empty tomb...
And continues to come to us--in new life, in a small voice in the darkness, in a child's laugh, in a friend's smile, in music that moves, in grass that grows...
Do you see it? Do you feel it? Do you recognize that peace lives in your heart? And that you have the capacity to be peace to someone else? Be peace.
Day 3 of Reflections
I apologize for the delay in my reflections...it's not because I was slacking, but because I have no internet access at home and had to wait for the weekend to pass to get back on! :) So, three days at once here we go!
Saturday, December 3
Every morning of the week, I have a rather lengthy commute, around 35 minutes to school. Most mornings I am wrapped up in my own thoughts or so zoned out that I don't even pay attention to my surroundings...getting down the road is my aim. But, last week, there was one morning that I looked up and gave attention to the mountains. They were absolutely breath-taking...they were a crisp blue and so defined against the morning sky. I gasped slightly and tears welled in my eyes. I was overcome by creation, by the simplicity of something that is there every day, waiting for me to notice...
I wanted to take a picture...to capture the moment. But, all of a sudden, I drove into the valley and the mountains became veiled by thick, dense fog. The moment was gone, the beauty had disappeared...but had it? I had this light bulb moment when I realized that faith is the same...God gifts us with these moments of clarity--we see clearly for an instant, we don't doubt, we are immersed in the presence of God, we see, but for a moment, the beauty of God...
And then it is veiled...we experience death, we have a bad day, we pray and feel like the prayers rain back down on us, we stumble through steps of faith....and yet, we must remember the beauty that we once beheld...because it is there...just hidden perhaps for a moment.
Saturday, December 3
Every morning of the week, I have a rather lengthy commute, around 35 minutes to school. Most mornings I am wrapped up in my own thoughts or so zoned out that I don't even pay attention to my surroundings...getting down the road is my aim. But, last week, there was one morning that I looked up and gave attention to the mountains. They were absolutely breath-taking...they were a crisp blue and so defined against the morning sky. I gasped slightly and tears welled in my eyes. I was overcome by creation, by the simplicity of something that is there every day, waiting for me to notice...
I wanted to take a picture...to capture the moment. But, all of a sudden, I drove into the valley and the mountains became veiled by thick, dense fog. The moment was gone, the beauty had disappeared...but had it? I had this light bulb moment when I realized that faith is the same...God gifts us with these moments of clarity--we see clearly for an instant, we don't doubt, we are immersed in the presence of God, we see, but for a moment, the beauty of God...
And then it is veiled...we experience death, we have a bad day, we pray and feel like the prayers rain back down on us, we stumble through steps of faith....and yet, we must remember the beauty that we once beheld...because it is there...just hidden perhaps for a moment.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Day 2 of Reflections...
Most of you know that I was born on Christmas Day...more years ago than I care to admit now...and it was definitely a surprise to my parents who expected my arrival in February. I wonder if Jesus was a premie? Had Mary's nine months come to an end? Or did God surprise her and the rest of the world with an early arrival? My mom wasn't prepared for me...but obviously, I came. The world wasn't prepared for Jesus to come as he did, but he came. He still comes, whether we are prepared or not.
But, as in the birth of any child, my mom experienced a gift like no other...of a child...of her own flesh...but also not of herself...
How much more did Mary experience as she carried the Son of God in her womb and then gave birth to him? Of herself, but of God? Blows my mind...
Christmas has always been a special holiday for my family...joy has always been an element present in our family around this season. As a child, it was always busy...Daddy was preparing for the Christmas cantatas, Mama was cooking, groups at church were preparing gifts for families, and on and on. In all of this busy-ness, Mama and Daddy started traditions which have become central to my recollections of the season.
I don't remember my first Christmas of course...we have many traditions...we open gifts from siblings on Christmas Eve...we eat crab stew and broccoli cornbread on Christmas Eve because that's what my mom had when she went into labor with me...and for many years we went to people's houses as a family to carol outside their doors on Christmas Eve. Sometimes, the "kids" went reluctantly, but we always ended up with bright smiles on our faces after seeing what a few songs and blended voices did for the people to whom we sang.
I was teaching Preschool Choir the other night...can't get away from those 4 and 5 year olds....I read a story about a college student who went to Senegal and painted the Bible stories that were told to women in a small group. I told the kids...God can use whatever you're good at to tell others how much Jesus loves them...not everyone is a painter or singer, but God can use so many things--there was a doctor in the room, a teacher, and much more.
Today, I thought about my little voice and how my parents taught me from a very early age to use it for God's glory. I've come a long way since my first Christmas carol "Away in a Manger" that never was sung to the congregation when I was three years old. It was never about the "audience," but about the few that received our sincere gifts that brought joy, not only to them, but to a small family practicing the art of tradition. And aren't the gifts that we have received the most joy from ones that seemed small at the time? A baby doll, a note from a friend, a pie prepared especially for us, a kind word, a warm hug...these are the things that make up a rich life....a baby boy born so long ago...may we not lose sight of these precious gifts.
But, as in the birth of any child, my mom experienced a gift like no other...of a child...of her own flesh...but also not of herself...
How much more did Mary experience as she carried the Son of God in her womb and then gave birth to him? Of herself, but of God? Blows my mind...
Christmas has always been a special holiday for my family...joy has always been an element present in our family around this season. As a child, it was always busy...Daddy was preparing for the Christmas cantatas, Mama was cooking, groups at church were preparing gifts for families, and on and on. In all of this busy-ness, Mama and Daddy started traditions which have become central to my recollections of the season.
I don't remember my first Christmas of course...we have many traditions...we open gifts from siblings on Christmas Eve...we eat crab stew and broccoli cornbread on Christmas Eve because that's what my mom had when she went into labor with me...and for many years we went to people's houses as a family to carol outside their doors on Christmas Eve. Sometimes, the "kids" went reluctantly, but we always ended up with bright smiles on our faces after seeing what a few songs and blended voices did for the people to whom we sang.
I was teaching Preschool Choir the other night...can't get away from those 4 and 5 year olds....I read a story about a college student who went to Senegal and painted the Bible stories that were told to women in a small group. I told the kids...God can use whatever you're good at to tell others how much Jesus loves them...not everyone is a painter or singer, but God can use so many things--there was a doctor in the room, a teacher, and much more.
Today, I thought about my little voice and how my parents taught me from a very early age to use it for God's glory. I've come a long way since my first Christmas carol "Away in a Manger" that never was sung to the congregation when I was three years old. It was never about the "audience," but about the few that received our sincere gifts that brought joy, not only to them, but to a small family practicing the art of tradition. And aren't the gifts that we have received the most joy from ones that seemed small at the time? A baby doll, a note from a friend, a pie prepared especially for us, a kind word, a warm hug...these are the things that make up a rich life....a baby boy born so long ago...may we not lose sight of these precious gifts.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
25 Days of Reflections...Day 1
In an attmept to save myself from the hustle and bustle of this season, I have committed myself to writing a reflection every day leading up to Christmas Day. I recognize the need to stop and see this season differently than ever before...to marvel, to wonder, to be reminded of why I believe.
It's hard to stop. It's hard to take a breath in between Christmas parties, shopping excursions (although if you know me, you know that doesn't happen often), cooking and baking treats, presenting Christmas programs, and rushing here and there. The harsh reality is that, as believers, something is missing. Our culture has sucked us into a virtual vacuum of candy canes, ribbons, bows, piped in Christmas carols, and twinkling lights. Instead of allowing those things to enhance our mysterious belief, I have let them take over my wonder and joy of the season.
This week, I was reading the lyrics to "Come Thou Fount"--"Tune my heart to sing thy praise." I started praying, Lord, tune my heart for this season. It starts there--in the place we once chose to allow God to dwell. And if God is dwelling there, it is full of goodness and light. Tuning requires work on the part of the one tuning. It also requires an instrument that is abandoned to the work of the one holding it. We must let go to allow God to make us better.
Last week, we sang the familiar carol, "O Come, O Come Emmanuel." It's one of my favorite carols...not because of sentiment...it has become a favorite in the last few years as I have begun to recognize the messiness of this life. The carol has somewhat of a daunting, eerie sound to it, and then bursts forth with the proclamation "Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to us O Israel!"
Christmas time does not erase the mess of life--there are still hungry people, there are people who have plenty and yet are sad, people die, others mourn, babies are born,...life continues. And isn't that the point? Life didn't stop when Jesus was born so long ago. Most people didn't even know that he had come into the world. A few's hearts were tuned well enough that they heard his cries for creation and came to see this most peculiar King in the form of a baby cooing to the cows and donkeys. And what a surprise....a baby breathed his first breath in a dirty cave, among animals. Young, scared parents received him. God enters our lives and is WITH US in all things. Sometimes it's scary to let God in--into the mess, the questions, the uncertainty, the joy, all of it--but if we do, we will Rejoice! Rejoice! at how beautifully tuned our hearts are to God's purposes and workings in and through us.
It's hard to stop. It's hard to take a breath in between Christmas parties, shopping excursions (although if you know me, you know that doesn't happen often), cooking and baking treats, presenting Christmas programs, and rushing here and there. The harsh reality is that, as believers, something is missing. Our culture has sucked us into a virtual vacuum of candy canes, ribbons, bows, piped in Christmas carols, and twinkling lights. Instead of allowing those things to enhance our mysterious belief, I have let them take over my wonder and joy of the season.
This week, I was reading the lyrics to "Come Thou Fount"--"Tune my heart to sing thy praise." I started praying, Lord, tune my heart for this season. It starts there--in the place we once chose to allow God to dwell. And if God is dwelling there, it is full of goodness and light. Tuning requires work on the part of the one tuning. It also requires an instrument that is abandoned to the work of the one holding it. We must let go to allow God to make us better.
Last week, we sang the familiar carol, "O Come, O Come Emmanuel." It's one of my favorite carols...not because of sentiment...it has become a favorite in the last few years as I have begun to recognize the messiness of this life. The carol has somewhat of a daunting, eerie sound to it, and then bursts forth with the proclamation "Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to us O Israel!"
Christmas time does not erase the mess of life--there are still hungry people, there are people who have plenty and yet are sad, people die, others mourn, babies are born,...life continues. And isn't that the point? Life didn't stop when Jesus was born so long ago. Most people didn't even know that he had come into the world. A few's hearts were tuned well enough that they heard his cries for creation and came to see this most peculiar King in the form of a baby cooing to the cows and donkeys. And what a surprise....a baby breathed his first breath in a dirty cave, among animals. Young, scared parents received him. God enters our lives and is WITH US in all things. Sometimes it's scary to let God in--into the mess, the questions, the uncertainty, the joy, all of it--but if we do, we will Rejoice! Rejoice! at how beautifully tuned our hearts are to God's purposes and workings in and through us.
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