Summertime

Summertime, and the livin' is easy...

That's pretty much been it...we finished school at the beginning of June, I got deathly ill for 9 days, said goodbye to Chris, took a certification test, and headed south!  I visited my family in Georgia and Florida for about two weeks.  Let me tell you, it gets harder to leave them every time.  Two nieces, 2 and a half and 15 months...next to impossible.

No one tells you what it feels like to have little people as an extension of you...or maybe they try, but it falls on deaf ears until it happens to you.  These little people have my blood flowing through them...we belong to each other.  Miley still looks into my eyes, hasn't seen me in months, and there is this knowing that occurs.  She squints up her eyes and smiles broadly and it's as if she is saying, without words, "I know you.  We belong together."  You may be thinking to yourself, yeah right.  But if you've experienced it, you know it to be true.

So what's the difference when we CHOOSE to belong to  someone?  Is it less powerful?  Is it more powerful?  Sappy-ness is not my goal here...Chris and I choose to belong to each other.  Who he is and what he does matters to me, not because I just need to know everything or whatever, but because he has become a part of me, of my heart, of the person that I am.  And yes, I am me.  If you know me, you know that to be 100% truth.  And Chris is fully himself...and maybe BECAUSE of that, there is depth and power in the fact that we choose to belong to one another.  And through all of this, through our choices to love and to belong, we create family.  We create a sense of belonging for ourselves, for our children, for future generations. 

Church is similar...it's not building, or fellowship times, or a million other little "things" that we do...it is choosing to belong to each other.  Who have you joined up with?  Who have you looked at in the eye and thought, "I know you.  We belong together."  It's a beautiful thing when it happens.  The Spirit of God reaches out and gives us family, invites us to choose each other. 

Journey

Sorry I didn't finish up my December writings up until Christmas...it was a little nuts with traveling and such and no computer to speak of, except for the tiny keypad of my Iphone, which isn't intended for long, thoughtful writing.

Anyway, over these last two weeks of vacation, I have been through so many emotions....happiness, joy, sadness, deep love, gratitude...and things have changed...the way we celebrate, two baby girls opening gifts and that being more important than opening your own gifts.  

This is what I know...life is process.  It is ever evolving...and so we must change.  Sometimes it feels like I am watching life happen when all of these changes occur, and yet, I am IN it!  

I had a soft heart this Christmas...I allowed God to soften my spirit to allow the Christ child to come again in my heart and make a difference.  I cried.  I felt.  I laughed.  I hugged and snuggled and prayed that those little girls know how much God and I love them.  And because my heart was softened, I was able to see that the journey has not ended.  Just as life is process and change, so is our journey of faith.  It should not stay the same.  It evolves.  We change.  We listen differently. We love more fully.  We mess up and try again.  If we are wise, we continue searching for the Christ child.  We ignore the Herods of our day and we focus on the light.

God is light.  Life is process.  Faith is evolved.  Amen.  So be it, Lord.

Beauty

I am from South Georgia...born in central Florida, raised by a mama originally from Buffalo, New York and a daddy from Moultrie, Georgia.  But I've lived in South Georgia for the majority of my life.

I'm dating an East Tennesseean...now he was born in Georgia and I don't let him forget that, but he exudes East Tennessee.  

We visited my parents this past June and it wasn't even that hot yet...I mean, yes, we had gnats and all that, but the sticky level hadn't reached its full potential yet.  He looked at me at one point and said, "Just so we're clear, there is no reason we should ever live here."  Ha!

We were driving down yesterday for the holidays and we turned off of I-75 to the cotton and peanut fields and straight road of highway 33.  I saw that the cotton had just been baled and South Georgia snow was scattered in the fields.  And I breathed in the beauty of this place.  It may not be beautiful to others because they haven't been loved here, they haven't smelled peanuts being harvested, or watched a thunderstorm come in on the horizon.  

Beauty becomes...it is realized in moments, in experiences, and in what becomes a part of our hearts.  True beauty comes in knowing....a person, a place, a reality...

Bethlehem wasn't beautiful...it was busy...it was crowded and probably really dirty.  But I can't help but think that Mary treasured Bethlehem in her heart as a place of immense beauty.  For what she had experienced was a new birth not just for her child, but herself.  What she had believed had come to life.  Her Savior had come...not just in physical form, but in her heart.

Have you seen beauty in your life today?  Have you let the place where you're called and the people you're called to serve become beautiful to you?  Have you made the place where you are Bethlehem?

Changes...

I've been processing lots of changes lately...

My sister is getting married in 8 days...I've never spent a Christmas Day without her.  We've always shared the sofa pull-out bed and woken up feeling like someone kicked us in the middle of the back.  Ahh memories...I spent Thanksgiving with Chris's family this year, only the second one I've missed with my family.  And I've been filled with thoughts of changes that this new year will bring.

I cried the other night...I needed to.  Have you ever been there?  Change requires us to grieve what was in order to accept what will be.  Sometimes I grieve the life that I will leave in order to gain life with Chris.  I've caught myself grieving the bond my sister and I had because we were the last singles and we knew how that felt.

This is not a sad post.  Change is change...it is inevitable.  Life happens.  We change.  We move on.  And while change requires us to let go of what we've known, it also gives us hope for the future of what will be.  I'm incredibly excited to see what Bethany's life holds as a married woman who is still my sister and one of my best friends.  I'm overjoyed and feel completely at ease thinking about my future with Chris.  And I'm so blessed by his family and the way they love me and how I seem to perfectly fit in his family.  It's a beautiful thing for which I am truly thankful.

I wonder how Mary and Joseph and their families felt about that change so long ago.  Sure, they had 9 months to ponder things...I wonder if Mary grieved her former life as a single, or as an engaged woman.  I wonder if her parents were a little sad to lose her...but also excited for what lay ahead.  It's life. It's a part of it...to change...and not only to HAVE to, but to invite it...because we know that it's a part of what God calls us to do...to leave the familiar to embrace the unknown...to join God in the mystery that is life as a believer.

The Work Begins

Remember the song I quoted the other day?

After everyone leaves...after the excitement of a new baby settles down...the true work begins.  

"To find the lost, the heal the broken, to feed the hungry, to release the prisoner, to rebuild the nations, to make peace among brothers, and to make music from the heart."

I was walking around, getting ready this morning and had an epiphany...yeah, that's a Christmas miracle on Thursday of the week before Christmas.  I have a cold...I mean it's bound to happen this time of year with sniffling children who hug me face to face...and I didn't feel awesome yesterday, but we promised to go with the kids from church to sing at an assisted living home.  So, we had little people choir and then headed over there.  We sang and it was nice and they were appreciative and then we headed to the other section of the facility to "the bridge."  The Bridge is for alzheimer's patients.  So we walked in and there were about 15-20 people in a circle with one nurse.  We started singing and I almost lost it.  Some of them that hadn't spoken a word, even looked like they were asleep, perked up, sang every word, and one even read every word off of the song sheet and sang in his loudest, best voice.  We walked around after we sang and they held my hand, commented how warm I was (wonder why? ha), and said, "it's so good to see you."  They were happy, even for those moments.

Here's the epiphany I had this morning...we did the work of "releasing the prisoner" last night.  The people we sang with are in a prison of the mind.  Most of the time they are locked up in the past and can't make peace with the present. In those few carols, I saw their eyes open, their minds clear, and their spirits refreshed.

Thank you, Lord, that you use us in spite of ourselves. Thank you for reminding me that I have something to give and that there is more work to do.

Understood

Most of you know that I teach ESL...and no that doesn't mean that I speak another language fluently..I wish that I did, but alas, I don't.  My students are mostly from Honduras and Mexico, with a few Chinese and Hungarian students thrown in the mix. 

This time of year, I often take my students for granted.  They are nuts.  I mean seriously whacked out of their minds.  I asked one Monday, "Really?  Who are you?"  Perhaps if you have kids, you know how they are this time of year.  Anyway, today I showed a clip of Frozen as a reward for doing their work.  One of my classes is almost completely full of limited English speakers.  So...the song "Let It Go" came on and two of the girls ripped into it in Spanish.  It was hilarious and sweet all at the same time.  And I realized something...no matter the language, they had the same reaction as other kids that speak English.  They all dream.  They all love a good Disney movie.  They speak the same language of heart.

Did Jesus come just for you?  While it is personal--what Christ did for you, God sent Jesus for us.  God speaks every language.  God came for all people.  God knows each person, each heart...and God speaks to all.  

Look around.  Forget the politics, the problems, and everything in between.  Marvel at the beauty of God's creation in the dark skin, the pale skin, the round eyes, the moon shaped eyes...and give thanks that God made us all and loves us all. 

O Come Let Us Adore Him

“Countless days on a journey that led so far
Endless nights they traveled to follow the star
They did not find a palace, just a humble village home
And searching for a king, but finding a child, no crown, no throne.

Still they bowed down

Come let us adore him
Oh, come let us adore him
Oh, come let us adore him

Expectation turned to mystery
For nothing was like anything they dreamed
Anticipating the royal and those honored by this world
Instead they gazed in the eyes of an awe-struck peasant girl
Holding her child

Come let us adore him
Oh, come let us adore him
Oh, come let us adore him

The brilliant gold, the fragrant myrrh, the costly frankincense
Placed before him

Come let us adore him
Oh, come let us adore him
Oh, come let us adore him
Christ, the Lord”

I heard this song on Sunday while I was getting ready for church.  I’ve heard it before, but this time I listened to the verses.  The shepherds and the wise men came to see this promised one, this king, and they came upon a child, a peasant girl…

Here’s the thing…they could have walked away.  The shepherds could have turned around when they saw where the star led them…the wise men could have taken their gifts back thinking that a humble child wouldn’t need something so expensive and extravagant.  Even though what they witnessed was unexpected, they still bowed down and worshipped. 

How many times has the same thing happened to you?  You pray for something with expectation of how God will answer.  When you don’t get the answer you expected, do you walk away disappointed, or do you stop, bow down, and worship?

Oh come let us adore him….for unexpected answers, for giving us what we don’t deserve, for hardships that teach us, for giving us what we need instead of what we want…

Have you gotten on your knees to bow before the Christ child this Christmas?  And have you accepted the unexpected?