Breaking It Down...

Do you ever have days where everything seems to break down at once?  It's like a downward spiral...and seems out of your control....yesterday, for example....police station, followed by the bank, workout, cream cheese explosion, pineapple soup, crackers that weren't "cracked," almost 2 hour meeting in which I felt like a 5 year old that couldn't sit still....finally getting home around 9:00....just another Manic Monday?!  I spilled my coffee this morning, drove to work thinking "did I put deodorant on?"  Hopefully this is making you feel better about your crazy life and not wigged out about mine...haha...maybe a little of both.

Anyway, as I was driving to work and processing all of those "happenings," I thought about how busted up I felt, how broken...I mean, girl can't even keep a cup of coffee still in her hand before 7 a.m...

and I thought about Mary...I thought about pregnancy and how it completely breaks a woman...it's not pretty....a woman's skin gets stretched beyond belief, labor causes extreme pain and trauma to a woman's body...Mary endured all of that...I don't think she just popped out Jesus with one good push and a laugh....I'm pretty sure she endured it all, in all it's pain and brokenness...the stretch marks, the pain of childbirth, the trauma of giving birth...

And yet, although (I hear) labor is painful and breaks a woman's body, it has a beautiful result...brokenness is beautiful.  Beauty in the broken....Mary gave birth to a healthy baby boy, her baby boy...she brought forth life...her willingness to be broken produced the Savior of the World.  In turn, what can our brokenness produce?  

I am but a fragile human...I don't get it right every day....yesterday, I failed a lot...today I spilled coffee on my cow slippers and bedspread...I don't always think the right thoughts...I often say things that I shouldn't...I yell at my kids...and so much more...

I am busted and broken...my guess is that you are too....and we are beautiful.  Because, in our brokenness, the Savior of the World is born again and again to people who desperately need healing.  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!

Advent...

It's that time again...the most wonderful time of the year?  The most stressful time of year for some?!  There is a lot going on, and I can't believe we are here again so soon...time passes quickly these days.  I am going to try to write every day leading up to Christmas...reflections on Advent with a focus on prayers this year...so hope you enjoy as I take this journey of writing.

I write to process...I always have...I write some things and then realize that I believe the words on paper...pretty neat gift God gives. 

I was thinking yesterday about anticipation.  We sang "Waiting Here for You" during the service and then sang "O Come O Come Emmanuel."  Mary waited 9 months, then 33 years....Israel waited for the promised King...my sister in law and brother eagerly await the birth of their baby girl...I await Christmas break...there is so much to anticipate...

As I was thinking, DisneyWorld came to mind...yes, I said DisneyWorld.  When I was around 7 years old, I woke up on Thanksgiving morning to my Dad smiling...he said, "Get dressed and get in the car."  No questions were allowed...we all got in the car and he said we were going on a "mystery trip."  Well, none of us fought the entire way...small miracle for siblings in a station wagon.  We arrived at DisneyWorld that night and spent the next day in complete ecstasy!

We spent the entire trip anticipating our destination...we knew it would be great, we just didn't know what it would be.

Israel, Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, even the angels anticipated the arrival of a King....and God sent himself to be with us...not above us, below us, around us....but WITH us...

Get in the car....we are going on a mystery trip....you know it's going to be great....anticipate it....and guess who's going to be there?

The Table...

A few weeks ago, we took communion at our church...everything kept pointing back to the idea of the table...through music and words...so I have been reflecting on the table for a while now....

I was asked to pray in church this past week and didn't know quite what I was going to say...all night Friday night, I woke up with words and ideas of what I was to pray.  I woke up Saturday morning and wrote this prayer...thank you Holy Spirit...

God,

Last week we came to your table to receive symbols of your body and your blood offered freely to us.  We focused on your sacrifice for us.

But maybe the point of coming to your table is not only to receive, but to sit and look around.

At your table I look around and see people of different races.
At your table I look across from me and see someone who has betrayed you.
I see people with unfamiliar faces.
I see people who are not like me.

At your table I am reminded of your offering,
not just for me...
Your word says, "For You so loved the world that You gave your one and only Son.  That whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.  For You did not send your Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save it."

God, you call us to be like your Son.
Forgive me when I refuse to sit at a table of people that are different than me.
In doing so, I refuse to sit with you...
And I become the betrayer.
And God, forgive us, as a church, as your body, for refusing to sit with the world,
with those you love and offered yourself for.

Make us the people, the body you call us to be...
Open our table, your table...

Tear down walls we have created,
Take away the perfected place settings we have planned,
And help us to be more like you.

For you did not send us into this world to condemn it,
But you sent us to offer salvation to the world...
At an open table in an open house.
May we be worthy offerings.
Amen.

The Grace of Forgiveness...

Here is a prayer for us all...

God,

We come now to a time of offering.
We come to you today,
first to offer thanks--
we thank you for grace--the grace of good sleep.
The grace of the smell of fresh-cut grass.
The grace of a child's laugh,
of the act of loving someone,
and of being loved.

Forgive us--for withholding grace from ourselves and from others.

We accept the grace of your sacrifice for us.
We have been living in pig styes,
Some we have created and others we joined.
And now we run to you,
knowing that we don't deserve anything you have to give,
But needing the comfort of your arms.

So now we come to you...

As we come to accept your grace,
Change our hearts, God.
Take away our pride before we fall.
Help us to taste the freedom of forgiveness.
Help us to forgive ourseves to bring peace within.
And, in turn, help us to forgive others,
to become glad in each others' presence.

And through the grace of forgiveness,
make us a body,
a people...
That others recognize as goodness, as grace, as love
Offered freely to all.
This is our offering.
Amen.

Messy...

I don't know if you have these moments, but there are times when something happens to me and I know that I have to write about it...that happened to me a few weeks ago...and I am now just getting around to putting it into words. 

I continue to marvel at the community of faith that I have been gifted to be a part of in this place.  God surprises me when another couple or individual joins us as we journey together.  Sometimes I have to stop to realize what God is doing...yeah, I may be slightly too busy....maybe.  Anyway, there is a couple who has joined us in the past year or so...and they are just great.  They have a three year old little girl who is a cutie...she has this curly brownish/red hair, fair skin, and big, bright, blue eyes.  When she laughs, she lights up a room...and when she sees me, it's like no one else in the room exists...her mouth drops open and her eyes become round with excitement.  Talk about making you feel loved...

One day at church, she saw me, and she had the same reaction as usual...the gasp, mouth open, eyes big...but this time, instead of just running up to me and jumping into my arms, she ran up, jumped, and gave me the wettest, sloppiest kiss!  It caught me totally off guard...my big, blue eyes probably were bigger than hers have ever been!  Ha!  She just went on and hugged me and started to play again...

It wasn't until later, as I was thinking over the day that I have a realization...I don't know if you've heard the song "Oh How He Loves..."  Well, sometimes I really like to hear it and other times I am over it...maybe I'm the only one who gets that way with songs...anyway, the original version of the song (until it was censored by Christian radio...really?!)...says...
"And heaven meets earth like a sloppy, wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves all
How He loves."

This little girl, so full of life, so full of wonder,
So full of unconditional love...
Met me with a sloppy, wet kiss...

The words kind of made me uncomfortable before...something about sloppy, wet, and kiss...talking about God at the same time...but it has new meaning for me now...

The way heaven and earth collide when we are truly the body of Christ to others...it is messy...it's not romantic, or this beautiful masterpiece....but it is a messy, sloppy kiss that sometimes makes us uncomfortable, sometimes doesn't look pretty...but the background of the action of the kiss is unconditional love....it is heaven, in all its beauty and mystery, crashing into earth in the form of us....broken people...it catches us and OTHERS off guard with its force and unguarded affection...

And in all of this...God demonstrates his love for us...that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us...the biggest, sloppiest kiss of all...

Thank you, Lord, for your kisses upon this world...and for using a child to remind me of what a beautiful mess it is...

Dreaming...

I know that we must all dream....I know this is true literally and figuratively.  I rarely remember my dreams...I never have been able to keep them more than about 5 minutes after I wake up in the morning. 

Dreaming is a part of the subconscious...it is unknown...it reveals a part of our brains that is not logical....it is completely right brain activity that goes uncensored.  We only dream when nothing is allowed to interfere with that creative, uninhibited part of ourselves.  I have often prayed that God will give me dreams and visions of what is to come, of who I am created to be in the moment, in this world.  I may have received them, but alas, I don't remember them.

Why are some people given dreams and visions?  We see people, throughout time and history, that have been given dreams and visions that have changed the course of their lives and sometimes the course of a people.  God used the time when they were at rest, when they let go of their ability to reason with themselves or God (haha) to allow them to dream His/Her dreams. 

From a figurative perspective, this is true as well...we must let go...we must stop dwelling on what we know, what we can see, what makes sense, what is comfortable...in order to dream. 

May we have enough sense to rest, enough rest to dream, and enough dreams to become foolish for the sake of the good news.

Here we are again...

In church on Sunday, we were having a discussion about quality time...yes, the love languages won't go away.  Anyway, we read the story of Abraham...of Sarah discovering she was prego, and the laughter that followed.  Then, the way Abraham was able to talk to God, and convince God to not destroy all of the people if there were a few that remained righteous..it was almost like a back and forth, well God, I've already asked, so how 'bout another?  Kind of humorous...to me.  ;)

So, in regards to quality time, Abraham spent time with God...enough so that when he had a conversation with God, he was able to dialogue with God, to honestly and openly approach the author of Creation.  So, I started thinking about faith and obedience.  This is a recurring theme in my life...this lesson that is...and the story of Abraham is always fresh and real to me. 

God told Abraham to get up, to pack everything, and to start walking...that's it.  And Abraham walked with the promise that God was going to do something great in and through him.  He acted on faith--he didn't have a back-up plan, or even the assurance of where he was going.  Yet he walked and kept walking...that is faith. 

Abraham was obedient.  God said go and Abraham went.  So, perhaps faith is the fruit of obedience.  As we obey, we begin to believe, without seeing what is ahead.  As Abraham walked, trusted, and obeyed, he began to know God more and more.  Relationship happens this way...we develop trust in each other...we do things for each other...we don't see what is ahead, but find that the walking is worthwhile because we are together in the journey.  Time together produces relationship...and even laughter at the absurdity of what God has done, is doing, and will do in and through us. 

Obedience.  Faith.  Relationship.  Fruits from the tree that is probably the craziest, most beautiful tree anyone has ever seen....Jesus.