December has arrived!

Well, it's that time again...time to commit myself to write every day leading up to Advent.  My writings may not always make it here every day, but I will do my best.  I hope you'll join me on this reflective journey of advent, of anticipation of what the season holds, what we hold within ourselves, and what others have to teach us during this special season.

I need to be honest with you...I've found myself in a bad place in the last few weeks.  I've had days when I don't want to be around anybody.  I've wanted to wallow in the muck and darkness a little.  I'm sure there are many factors related to this....and if you're honest with yourself, you've had those days too.  Despite that, we began the Advent season at church yesterday with a four year old proclaiming "This is a season of hope!"  We have hope in the midst of darkness.  Life is really dark sometimes...we don;'t get answers that we want; sometimes we don't get answers at all.  We feel like we are wandering in a wilderness without any guidance.  And yet, new life is born.  Trees lie fallow, waiting for rebirth.  New snows fall.  And we keep walking.  But, my prayer for myself and for you is that we are walking toward the light...oh soul, do not run away...do not try to hide...face the darkness and believe.  Believe that the Light of the World has come for you.

December Darkness by Ann Weems

Too often our answer to the darkness
is not running toward Bethlehem
but running away.
We ought to know by now that we can't see
where we're going in the dark.
Running away is rampant...
Separation is stylish:
separation from mates, from friends, from self.
Run and tranquilize,
don't talk about it,
avoid.
Run away and join the army
of those who have already run away.
When are we going to learn that Christmas Peace
comes only when we turn and face the darkness?
Only then will we be able to see
the Light of the World.

Elizabeth told Mary...

You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.

A young teenager faced the darkness of new motherhood, of social disgrace, of a doubtful husband, of so much unknown....but because she faced darkness, she birthed the Light of the World.  

May we believe.

Stones

I don't think much about rocks, stones, boulders ,etc....until I step on them in a river bed, or stumble over one on a pebbled beach...come to think of it, I used to proudly take rocks home from camp, youth trips, and beach trips.  Stones have significance to us as humans for some reason.  They carry weight.  Such an unassuming object feels good in the palm of my hand...the smoothness of the surface, the weight of something pressing against my palm, sometimes what it makes me remember.  And yes, sometimes the pain it caused.

We listened to two women in church on Sunday talk about stones.  They retold stories of long ago--of David defeating Goliath with two stones he catipulted at the self-assured giant.  They reminded us of the woman who was thrown before the people of her own town to be stoned.  the people had picked up the rocks and were ready to give her the punishment she deserved.  Then they reminded us that a stone was placed in front of the tomb of Jesus to keep him in.

We have our plans...we think we know what rocks in our lives to pick up and heave at others that will hit the mark.  I'm pretty sure David was just throwing blind, doing whatever he could think of to thwart Goliath.  The people in the town who came out of their houses to condemn the woman thought they had things under control, and that they should take action and use those stones to rid the town of a sinner.  And the officials who called for the crucifixion of Jesus thought they would seal the tomb and all would be well.

In all of these situations, God takes an object that we intend for evil, for control, for security, for self-preservation, and redeems it.  The stone becomes victory for David.  The stones become mirrors for the townspeople, and grace for the woman.  The stone became light and life for all who believe that Jesus is who he says he is.

So, have you looked at the stones in your life?  Are they marking your path with goodness and redemption?  Are they marked by redemption seen, realized, received, and given back?

Looking Back...

A group of us at church is studying the life of Abram, later Abraham, you know, Father of our Faith and all that. The story of Abraham has always fascinated me, mainly because I cling to the haphazard way he and Sarai gather everything and everybody up, and start walking. God tells them to go, gives them a promise, and they believe. What also encourages me is that after the initial following, they do doubt, individually and as a family...they doubt the promises God made to give them a son, to bring them to a promised land...and yet God reassures them, makes them laugh even. I say all this to tell you what happened to me the other day. I was driving to work...such a mundane task...I was wrapped up in getting there...ahead was kind of dark and dreary with the first rays of sunlight beginning to light the horizon. All the sudden, I looked in my rear view mirror and the sun was coming up over the mountains. It was such a bright, brilliant orange that it almost blinded me. It was beautiful. And in that moment, I thought about Abraham and Sarah. I thought about how they kept walking forward, seeing darkness at times, a few rays of light and promise ahead at other times, but when they looked back, it was brilliant. God does so much in our lives that we never see. We may do something for someone, or go through something that is really difficult at the time, but in the end, it's brilliant, and it's beauty. Even the nasty stuff of our lives can be buried and turn up as something new and glorious. So, look back today...your life may have paved the way for someone else to come into the Kingdom. Your mess may have been another person's treasure. Your struggle may have turned into something beautiful...and just go ahead and laugh a little.

Always Love My Mama...

So yes, this is a little late, but not too bad...I was asked to pray on Mother's Day...and no, I ain't no mama, but I do love mine.  And I love the way that mamas all over have mothered me, and yes, how God has taught me to mother these children that aren't mine by birth, but that I claim anyway.

So...here is the prayer I prayed...for my mama especially, but also to all those who have loved on me.

God,

We come now to a time of passing plates.
On this day, when we celebrate mothers,
we reflect on the many plates that have been passed to us.
We remember the needs that our moms met,
The hurts they hugged away,
the softness of their touch,
The warmth of their embrace,
The ability to see us for who we really are and to love us anyway...
And we give thanks.

Thank you for moms
That walked by faith,
That sheltered us with prayer,
That pushed us to become who we are
That trusted you enough to fill our plates.

God, we recognize Jesus in our moms--
in the ability to touch, to heal, to host, to celebrate, to love in such a special way,
In truly knowing how to sacrifice for the sake of someone else.

As the plates are passed this day, let us, by faith, believe that you are able to fill them...
And help us to give in such a way
That fills someone else's plate,
That sacrifices for someone else
Like we have been sacrificed for.  
Amen.

Busy, busy...

Let Your Light Shine...

This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine?

Sometimes I wonder if who I am as a believer is conveyed to those around me.
I pray for bright eyes, for a soft heart,
for a spirit that speaks in spite of my too many words...
And yet, sometimes I question my witness, 
The ways that I help God's kingdom come to earth.

A few days ago, I was with my last class of the day.  Now, this class consists of two 5th grade girls, neither of which speaks much English.  So, they were working on vocabulary worksheets with me and suddenly they broke into conversation, in Spanish of course.  For a minute, I thought they were talking about a girl named Maria, but as I listened more closely, I realized that one was telling the other the entire story of Jesus Christ.  The other girl asked question after question..."How could God and Jesus be the same?"  "How could Mary have Jesus?"  And time after time, the other answered with patience and amazing clarity.

I sat there, mouth open...and at one point I interjected a few statements in my best Spanish...ha.  Then my heart swelled and my eyes welled up with tears.  We serve a great, big God...God is much bigger than our worries, our fears, our everydayness...our "ability" to share...

And God is LIGHT...I shine because I belong to God...God is a God of ALL people and languages.  Praise God for calling us as children, for shining in the midst of darkness around us AND within us.

Smallness...

"Lord of the Small"

Praise to the Lord of the Small Broken Things,
Who Sees the Poor Sparrow That cannot take wing.
Who loves the lame child and the wretch in the street
who comforts their sorrows and washes their feet.

Praise to the lord of the faint and afraid
who girds them with courage and lends them his aid,
he pours out his spirit on vessels so weak,
that the timid can serve and the silent can speak.

Praise to the lord of the frail and the ill
who heals their afflictions or carries them till,
they leave this tired frame and to paradise fly.
to never be sick and never to die.

Praise him, O Praise Him All ye who live
who`ve been given so much and can so little give
our frail lisping praise God will never despise.

         He sees his dear children with mercy filled eyes.

We sang this last week at church.  I've been reminded lately of my "smallness."  Yeah, you can make jokes...I'm not exactly a petite woman, but honestly, most of the time I feel like a little girl.  Sometimes I feel the smallness of my life...of the small things I do every day...hugging, exercising, sitting around with friends, preparing a meal, yelling at kids....and I feel the brokenness of myself and the world.  Things aren't set right every day.  Children leave school hungry.  Sometimes I am not satisfied with the day or life at that moment.  

And yet, God is a God of broken things,

of small, seemingly insignificant people,

of messed up days,

of hungry kids,

of massive hugs,

of the sick,

of the ones giving every ounce of their beings for the Kingdom,

and of those who feel like they have nothing left to give.

And in it all....in the broken, in the small, in the blundering and blubbering, and yes, in the joys (which I have many)....God is God...

God is mercy.

God is Spirit.

God can speak.

God washes our nasty feet.

Amen.  Praise God.  And so be it.