Loss..

I recently lost my granddaddy...he was 91 years old and so cute...maybe older men don't like to be called cute, but he just was. A few days before he died, I talked to him on the phone and he sang "In my heart there rings a Melodie" as he always did when he saw me or heard my voice. The way he loved me astounded me at times--we are not related by blood, but by spirit. Here are a few things I wrote about him...

"My granddaddy is someone who knows my heart.
Our souls speak quietly to each other while we stare silently into each others' eyes.
He loves me fully and has prayed for me since the day I became his granddaughter.
Years ago, God surprised me by giving me a granddaddy I never expected to have.
He wove his way into our family and before we knew it, he had stolen our hearts.
When he prays, tears come from deep within me
At the thought of how blessed I am to be loved by him.
Because the love he gives is bigger than him--
it is a love found deep in his heart,
where his true melody of the Holy Spirit dwells."

Walking through the loss with my family was truly a joy. It is in the hard moments that I realize how fully I love my family and how much we need each other. Life is hard a whole lot of the time. God has given us each other to walk through it together. Granddaddy lived so that I could. What a beautiful thing.

I Went to Princeton...

Well, not really, but for a whole day...

Just got back this past week from a road trip up to Princeton to visit its seminary for my friend, Molly. We drove and drove and drove through six states from Saturday-Monday...yeah...whew.

But, it was totally worth it. We were M&Ms for Halloween up at James Madison University in Virginia and then, up in Princeton, we took tons of pictures of the beauty of Autumn and of that place. It really makes you think, "does this really exist?" It was so beautiful and it just made me want to read while I was there. We walked around the downtown area Sunday night and ate delicious food and ice cream. Then on Monday, we went to chapel on campus, then to lunch, and finally a nice tour.

The visit up there was somewhat of affirmation for me--the kind that made me realize that I don't want that. I do want to ask hard questions. I do want to be surrounded by people who are trying to figure it out. I do want to be surrounded by beauty. And I am. Those desires have come to fruition where I am and they can come to fruition wherever I am.

One of the things that was unsettling was the affluence so evident there. But, I also have come to this point of realizing that poverty is not just a physical state--it is represented in each of us. We must see the poverty within ourselves before we can address the poverty in others. And it is in this community of relationship that we can begin to meet poverty that we discover and that others can respond to our poverty.

It's a simple, yet complicated life we've been called to live...so here are some pictures...

Home again...

I recently went back to Georgia for a quick visit that colleges like to call "Fall Break." Apparently, schools in California don't get this indulgence. Regardless, I appreciate our school's desire to celebrate this beautiful season. The leaves are changing and falling at the same time. I realized last week that I've been walking with my head down or straight ahead to whatever is directly in front of me. I haven't been looking around a whole lot lately. So, this past week I have tried to look around. The problem is, when I look around, I see what I don't want to see. I see need. I see things that I need to respond to. I also see beauty in nature and beauty in others. Yesterday morning I was walking to work and glanced over my shoulder to see a couple of tree lining the street that were the most brilliant color of orange. I think the sun was shining on them at that moment and they never looked so beautiful, even though they will change and have to go through the whole process again.

We must change. We must never be so content that we don't see the need in and around us. We need change and seasons to be reminded of all that was and all that is to come.

Fall break was great. I got to be in the Peanut Parade...you have no idea how many times I have told people that and they've said, "What is that?!" ha...they just don't know! I got to see teachers and students at the school, dear friends whose kids I love and who change too quickly, and my own wonderful family who let me relax and just sit with them. Bethany, Jamie, Melonie, and I all met up on my way back up to TN in Atlanta for lunch. Jamie has become Poppy--he brought us all apples from North Georgia. It was so great to just sit with these people God has connected me to so deeply...and it felt like we were grown up...my brother is married and none of our parents were there. Weird.

Ok...done here...more to come from the road trip that I'm about to embark upon!

POSSUM!

Thought it was time for a little story time with Melodie...and a light one at that.

Today I was walking Banjo, the dog...he is quite the hyper dog and likes to sniff out everything. So, every day for the past week he has sniffed at this one spot along the walking trail. Well, today I wasn't paying attention and half of his head disappeared into the grass/growth along the trail. So, being the great dog walker that I am, I yanked and yanked on the leash until he came out of the hole. The whole time I was yanking I was thinking, "what if there's a snake in there or something."

Well, out of the hole pops Banjo with a........POSSUM in his mouth!!! You read that correctly...a possum...huge possum...like eyes bulging and huge rat looking thing...possums are way gross.

So I immediately start running away from banjo and p-doodle the possum....when I realized that I'm still holding the leash and that I have to keep holding the leash because I'm responsible for this crazy dog who is holding a possum in his mouth! So I just jump up and down, scream, and generally freak out...and it worked. Banjo dropped the possum and started running WITH me away from the, what I thought was, dead p-doodle.

But, oh no...p-doodle possum was not dead...when we came back, p-doodle was back in his hole or somewhere else! I thought bulging eyes p-doodle was dead when banjo found him, but I was wrong...he was just playing possum.

Exciting News!

I don't know why, but I am continually surprised when God answers me and prepares the way that I could never have seen. I moved back to Jefferson City, Tennessee to pursue my Masters in Teaching English as a Second Language about two weeks ago and in that short time, God has affirmed me being here over and over again.

I found out this past Monday that I received a Graduate Assistantship so school is paid for and I get paid to work for the Education Department during the week! Talk about a load off!

Today was the third Sunday at the same church and each Sunday, my eyes have welled up with tears because of a fullness of Spirit I feel when I'm there.

I've already hung out with my Sunday School class multiple times since being here.

I got frustrated yesterday over not having a desk yet...I know...crazy to freak out about. So I went to a few thrift stores and couldn't find anything and when I was in the car, I thought, "Okay...why are you freaking out? Just wait...you will fine one...don't rush this...be patient." Today, a friend asked me if I needed anything and I almost said, "Nope...I'm fine." But, instead thought about the desk....she thinks she has a few I could pick from for free. It's the little things that are huge.

Oh and Wednesday, I got a call from the church I'm attending to do child care that night, so now I have a job on Wednesday night keeping babies for a few hours....and I get a free meal! I was so pumped about that...girl's got to eat!

I saw my cousin Jeff the other day and he said, "Do you think maybe God wanted you here?"

Yeah, I do.

it's official!

I now abide in the Volunteer state once more...moved up last week and it's been a great transition so far. Church on Sunday was just deep and rich and prepared...I heard this song that I haven't heard in AGES...

"Hard as it seems, standing in dreams...Where is the dreamer now?
Wonder if I wanted to try, would I remember how?
I don't know the way to go from here, but I've already made my choice...
This is where I'll stand until he moves me on
And I will listen to his voice.

This is the faith--patience to wait when there is nothing clear.
Nothing to see, but still we believe Jesus is very near.
I cannot imagine what will come, but I know that I have made my choice
And this is where I stand until he moves me on
And I will listen to his voice.

Could it be that he is only waiting there to see
If I will learn to love the dreams that he has dreamed for me?
Can't imagine what the future holds,
But I've already made my choice
And this is where I stand until he moves me on
And I will listen to his voice."

Yep...that about sums it up.

to good friends...

Just a note to all of you out there who have been there for me...not to get sentimental and all, but praise God for you. You have carried me through much, even if you don't know it. Love is strong and actions performed because of love, even small ones, speak volumes to the heart. We have support in each other and that's a beautiful thing. Love to you all...and a special shout out to John and Ginger who make my photography skills a little easier. ;)