To All Who Are Still Awaiting My Final Posts:
My apologies...I had no internet connection when I was in Florida so...the posts didn't make it on time. So, to save myself and you a little, I am combining thoughts into one final reflection of this advent season.
The theme of the last week or so has been drive, travel, drive some more, eat a whole lot, and then drive again. In between all of that, there were wonderful moments with family and time to be thankful.
My family traveled to Florida last Thursday to be with my grandma, my mom's mom. Entering her house always brings back memories...she has lived in the same house for 45 years or so...and nothing has changed...blue carpet, blue drapes that we were never allowed to touch, tiny trinkets, the smallest porcelain cats you will ever see in your life (that you must dust), blue kitchen cabinets...do you get the point? Nothing has changed...and it's kind of nice that way. We were looking for a hair dryer Friday morning...don't know why we always forget to bring one...and Jamie found the first hair dryer ever made by man...I promise you it weighed 8 pounds...and still worked. It would have taken an hour to dry, but anyway...tangent.
We celebrated Christmas together on Christmas Eve because my brother and sister in law had to go back to Georgia on Sunday morning. We had a lovely day...ate a nice meal, opened gifts, watched a cheesy Disney Christmas movie that was on tv...sad thing was that every one of us was sucked into it and couldn't stop watching. We laughed together...we always do. Family is so special...we "get" each other. I don't have to explain my off hand comments or jokes to them, unless it's my dad and it's sarcastic...but we always find humor in something and it doesn't take much. I love being around my siblings and my "in law." We talk, we tell stories, we reminisce, we make new memories...and it's so simple, yet empowering and comforting...to know who you are and to know that others know you and love you just the same.
Christmas morning, we were lazy...got up and ate breakfast and sent off Jamie and Melonie. My mom and I watched a church service and I had one of those "moments" that we've prayed for...of recognition of the importance of the celebration of Jesus' birth. I teared up a little, gave thanks, and hugged my mom. We ordered Chinese food for lunch...I had a nice conversation with the owners of the restaurant and wished them a twinkle eyed "Merry Christmas!" And after lunch, my sister and I headed to the beach...it was 85 degrees...I was wearing gym shorts, an angry birds t-shirt, and flip flops...what more could a girl ask for on her birthday?! We walked the beach, were amazed at how many people were there, felt the sand between our toes, the cold water at our ankles, and stared out into the vast expanse of ocean meeting the sky in silence and wonder. My spirit breathed...I relaxed...and was thankful yet again for small moments of joy.
That night, we had birthday dinner, cake, and presents again. And it was just nice.
And then Monday came...my mom and dad left for Georgia and my sister and I were left to eat lunch with my grandma (her back had been bothering her the whole time we were there...she just was trying to cover it). She ate, went down for a nap, and got up asking us to call an ambulance. If you don't know this already, my grandmother is pretty stubborn and when her mind is set, it is hard to change it...hmmm...help me Lord. So, after deliberation and talking, we did as she asked and ended up in the ER with her that afternoon and part of the night. She didn't have to stay in the hospital, but it put us in charge of taking care of her, filling prescriptions, getting her food, etc. I have immense respect for care-givers...
It was a privilege to stay...to care of my grandma...I'm not going to lie and say it was easy, but she took care of us so much when we were young...and it felt good to be able to do that for her. I saw her in a fragile state...she is shrinking, getting weaker, and losing some of her independence...I slept in the same bed as her for two nights and woke up next to a grandma I didn't recognize...she is wrinkled and small. And growing up, her attitude itself was big enough to make her look like a giant.
Things change...every year I am taken aback by the changes in myself and in others...we don't know what next Christmas will look like or what will happen in the next year...but are we doing the best we can now? Do I love people enough to see them at their weakest and to stay? To comfort those in need and to be comforted when I am in need? One of the themes I've seen throughout my writings for this advent season is that life happens. Most of the time, we don't know what will come, but we do have a choice in how we respond. We can cry, and we will...we can laugh...and we will...and in all of it, we must choose to reflect, to carry on, to make others' lives better because we have chosen to give of ourselves and the gift of life we have so graciously been given.
Merry Christmas! Happy Advent! Merry, Happy, Joyous, Insane Life! :)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Day 21...
A few reflections from The Message, verses from Luke 2
"I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide:"
--Not just for some...not for those who understood beforehand or who could build the temples...but for everyone...and not just for Jews or certain people groups...everybody, covering the earth.
"Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!"
--In this moment, Mary is truly a mother...I think of how mother's must ponder and treasure those first moments with their new baby...and those feelings cannot be shared with anyone else, not even the father. She planted those thoughts and feelings deep within her, perhaps because she knew how special they were...and how she would need them later.
"In Jerusalem at the time, there was a man, Simeon by name, a good man, a man who lived in the prayerful expectancy of help for Israel. And the Holy Spirit was on him. The Holy Spirit had shown him that he would see the Messiah of God before he died. Led by the Spirit, he entered the Temple. As the parents of the child Jesus brought him in to carry out the rituals of the Law, Simeon took him into his arms and blessed God:
God, you can now release your servant;
release me in peace as you promised.
With my own eyes I've seen your salvation;
it's now out in the open for everyone to see:
A God-revealing light to the non-Jewish nations,
and of glory for your people Israel.
Jesus' father and mother were speechless with surprise at these words. Simeon went on to bless them, and said to Mary his mother,
This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are."
--Mary and Joseph were simply carrying out tradition as they took Jesus to the Temple and they came across Simeon...imagine holding the knowledge of a Savior and believing it with all of your being...and no one else truly understanding it. It was if everything had come to pass for Simeon and he had seen what he had been waiting for his entire life. I sense relief in his words, "it's now out in the open for everyone to see." We know that Joseph and Mary were told by the angel that Jesus was indeed the Savior they had been waiting for...and they were still speechless and surprised at Simeon's words. I'm the same way...I "know" things, but when God does things, sometimes I am surprised and speechless.
"Rejection will force honesty." When we are stripped of comfort, of self, of all we "know," we are forced into an honest place that we couldn't have imagined. And the refining begins...apparently it started a long time ago.
"I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide:"
--Not just for some...not for those who understood beforehand or who could build the temples...but for everyone...and not just for Jews or certain people groups...everybody, covering the earth.
"Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!"
--In this moment, Mary is truly a mother...I think of how mother's must ponder and treasure those first moments with their new baby...and those feelings cannot be shared with anyone else, not even the father. She planted those thoughts and feelings deep within her, perhaps because she knew how special they were...and how she would need them later.
"In Jerusalem at the time, there was a man, Simeon by name, a good man, a man who lived in the prayerful expectancy of help for Israel. And the Holy Spirit was on him. The Holy Spirit had shown him that he would see the Messiah of God before he died. Led by the Spirit, he entered the Temple. As the parents of the child Jesus brought him in to carry out the rituals of the Law, Simeon took him into his arms and blessed God:
God, you can now release your servant;
release me in peace as you promised.
With my own eyes I've seen your salvation;
it's now out in the open for everyone to see:
A God-revealing light to the non-Jewish nations,
and of glory for your people Israel.
Jesus' father and mother were speechless with surprise at these words. Simeon went on to bless them, and said to Mary his mother,
This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are."
--Mary and Joseph were simply carrying out tradition as they took Jesus to the Temple and they came across Simeon...imagine holding the knowledge of a Savior and believing it with all of your being...and no one else truly understanding it. It was if everything had come to pass for Simeon and he had seen what he had been waiting for his entire life. I sense relief in his words, "it's now out in the open for everyone to see." We know that Joseph and Mary were told by the angel that Jesus was indeed the Savior they had been waiting for...and they were still speechless and surprised at Simeon's words. I'm the same way...I "know" things, but when God does things, sometimes I am surprised and speechless.
"Rejection will force honesty." When we are stripped of comfort, of self, of all we "know," we are forced into an honest place that we couldn't have imagined. And the refining begins...apparently it started a long time ago.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
5 Days To Go...
Well, I got quite the surprise last night...what I thought would be a nice quiet dinner among friends turned into a huge party. Laura picked me up for dinner and when we walked into the restaurant, I looked around, still not suspecting a thing...and then heard "Surprise!" I almost looked behind me to see who was the recipient...and then realized it was me! I have some sneaky friends...but wonderful ones.
This is no pity party by any means...I haven't had a "friend" birthday party since middle school...I don't really think about it because I'm always with my family for Christmas. This was a complete surprise and delight. As I made my way through the restaurant to greet people and thank them, I was blown away that they all came. It was as if many of my worlds came together...to celebrate life as we live it together. I had just written about "home" and community and how blessed I feel by it all...and they did all of that for me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to grasp the scope of God's love. When people do things for me, I feel at a loss...accepting gifts and help is hard sometimes. We want to be self-sufficient, independent, and in control. When others give...when they give of themselves, their time, and their love for us, it can be uncomfortable. But, if we neglect to accept these gifts of the people around us, we impoverish ourselves...and we don't learn how to give graciously ourselves. And many times we don't accept that God loves us unconditionally...enough to take our brokenness, our guilt, our messy selves and make them something good. God surprises us...we know about God's love...but do we accept it, embrace it, and recycle it? Be surprised today...and soak it all in...then wring it out on someone else. I know I'm glad others have done that for me.
This is no pity party by any means...I haven't had a "friend" birthday party since middle school...I don't really think about it because I'm always with my family for Christmas. This was a complete surprise and delight. As I made my way through the restaurant to greet people and thank them, I was blown away that they all came. It was as if many of my worlds came together...to celebrate life as we live it together. I had just written about "home" and community and how blessed I feel by it all...and they did all of that for me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to grasp the scope of God's love. When people do things for me, I feel at a loss...accepting gifts and help is hard sometimes. We want to be self-sufficient, independent, and in control. When others give...when they give of themselves, their time, and their love for us, it can be uncomfortable. But, if we neglect to accept these gifts of the people around us, we impoverish ourselves...and we don't learn how to give graciously ourselves. And many times we don't accept that God loves us unconditionally...enough to take our brokenness, our guilt, our messy selves and make them something good. God surprises us...we know about God's love...but do we accept it, embrace it, and recycle it? Be surprised today...and soak it all in...then wring it out on someone else. I know I'm glad others have done that for me.
Monday, December 19, 2011
December 19th...
"Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear.
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus."
Luke 1:11-12, 29-31
"Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:19-21
Last night, a group of women went to a nursing home to sing Christmas music to the residents. During the "service," someone read the Christmas story, the Scripture from Luke. I've heard that passage many times, but this time, the part about the angel appearing to Mary and her reaction stuck out to me. She was troubled...Zechariah was gripped with fear...Joesph was told not to be afraid...
Fear, trembling, startled...all of these were emotions felt by people that God used...to save the world. They weren't superheroes...they didn't fly; they didn't preach eloquent sermons; they didn't ask for prosperity in politics or leadership...they were ordinary people who got scared when angels talked to them. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if an angel spoke to me...I know I would be scared though. But, their response is what matters...they accepted...Zechariah was silent for a while to soak it all in...Mary accepted and rejoiced with a song...Joseph married a woman pregnant in a way he couldn't fathom.
Angels may not appear to us...but God speaks. The Holy Spirit asks us to do things all the time that stretch us, that seem awkward, that sometimes seem ordinary to us, but could be extraordinary to someone else. Someone's gold is someone else's bread. The good news of the Gospel is just that...it is bread for one person...it is an angel speaking to another...it is clean water...it is a Savior...it is a good night's sleep....but it is good. And it is news, so it is worthy of telling, of sharing...and some people might be scared or even tremble when they hear it...God speaks...are you listening...and are you being spoken through?
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus."
Luke 1:11-12, 29-31
"Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:19-21
Last night, a group of women went to a nursing home to sing Christmas music to the residents. During the "service," someone read the Christmas story, the Scripture from Luke. I've heard that passage many times, but this time, the part about the angel appearing to Mary and her reaction stuck out to me. She was troubled...Zechariah was gripped with fear...Joesph was told not to be afraid...
Fear, trembling, startled...all of these were emotions felt by people that God used...to save the world. They weren't superheroes...they didn't fly; they didn't preach eloquent sermons; they didn't ask for prosperity in politics or leadership...they were ordinary people who got scared when angels talked to them. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if an angel spoke to me...I know I would be scared though. But, their response is what matters...they accepted...Zechariah was silent for a while to soak it all in...Mary accepted and rejoiced with a song...Joseph married a woman pregnant in a way he couldn't fathom.
Angels may not appear to us...but God speaks. The Holy Spirit asks us to do things all the time that stretch us, that seem awkward, that sometimes seem ordinary to us, but could be extraordinary to someone else. Someone's gold is someone else's bread. The good news of the Gospel is just that...it is bread for one person...it is an angel speaking to another...it is clean water...it is a Savior...it is a good night's sleep....but it is good. And it is news, so it is worthy of telling, of sharing...and some people might be scared or even tremble when they hear it...God speaks...are you listening...and are you being spoken through?
Day 18
At church today, I felt a sense of joy that I haven't felt in a while...we sang "Go Tell It On the Mountain" and then "Joy to the World." People were smiling, singing, and enjoying themselves. This is a serious season, but it is also full of laughter, smiles, anticipations of what is to come, and even dancing. And why shouldn't it be? Yes, there is a time for reflection, for silence...but don't forget to rejoice, to see the anticipation of Christmas Day in the eyes of a child, to dance a little to Christmas music, to laugh at the crazy Christmas decorations portraying Santa kneeling beside baby Jesus...it's all a part of the celebration.
One of my favorite themes of the Bible is the idea that joy and sorrow are intertwined...you will experience both...sometimes you experience joy as a result of emerging from the duration of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow hits you hard after you have experienced great joy. But that's just it...they will both come...so celebrate life...all of it. And don't forget to look in the mirror and not take yourself too seriously...
One of my favorite themes of the Bible is the idea that joy and sorrow are intertwined...you will experience both...sometimes you experience joy as a result of emerging from the duration of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow hits you hard after you have experienced great joy. But that's just it...they will both come...so celebrate life...all of it. And don't forget to look in the mirror and not take yourself too seriously...
And on the 17th Day...
Last night, I babysat for some dear friends...we ended up going over to their grandmother's house for them to spend the night...the youngest is 2 years old and she was so excited to see her new cousin! Upon seeing her, she yelled "Ellie!!!" and her face lit up. I'm pretty sure she would be content to "hold" that baby for Christmas...oh the subtle reminders of what is important...and children will lead the way to Christ. As I stood in their grandmother's kitchen, which I have done countless times, I looked over at the Christmas tree. It was gorgeous...full of white lights...glowing. I had this overwhelming feeling of light...of thankfulness...these people love me. I love them. I am given the privilege of caring for their children and grandchildren...they entrust me with their care.
We moved around a lot when I was growing up...the curse of the minister's family...but it wasn't a curse...it taught me how to meet people, adjust, be flexible...and it taught me what a true home is. Home is not a place...yes, there is sentiment attached to certain places and memories follow every place. But, home is our responsibility...we create it wherever we are. Just as Jesus travelled and invited others to join him in doing good, we must do that for others. And in so doing, we experience home...a sense of belonging, a security...challenging ourselves and each other to be better.
In that kitchen, I realized how bright my life is...because of the people God has allowed me to be home to...and who have invited me home in so many ways. We all belong to each other...have you invited anyone in lately?
We moved around a lot when I was growing up...the curse of the minister's family...but it wasn't a curse...it taught me how to meet people, adjust, be flexible...and it taught me what a true home is. Home is not a place...yes, there is sentiment attached to certain places and memories follow every place. But, home is our responsibility...we create it wherever we are. Just as Jesus travelled and invited others to join him in doing good, we must do that for others. And in so doing, we experience home...a sense of belonging, a security...challenging ourselves and each other to be better.
In that kitchen, I realized how bright my life is...because of the people God has allowed me to be home to...and who have invited me home in so many ways. We all belong to each other...have you invited anyone in lately?
Friday, December 16, 2011
Day 16...
But, I took a chance. In the book, Ameer is the main character. His best friend and companion is Ra, a dog he saved from drowning with the other runts of other litters. He is traveling in a large caravan with the three wise men, or kings, leading the caravan to go see the King, Jesus. While traveling, every person is gathering his or her best to present to the King. Ameer feels at a loss because he has nothing...he is poor...he is at the back of the caravan, and he has nothing to offer. When they arrive, he is surprised to be in Bethlehem, a bustling city that is not likely for a King. Then they approach the place where they will find Jesus and he stands in awe that the King is in such a dirty, un-kingly (yes, I made that up) place. He goes to the back of the line and doesn't want to see the King because he is shamed that he has nothing to present...But, he gets pushed into the line because of all of the chaos. So, as he enters, he describes Joseph and Mary as "a man and woman in peasant clothing." He falls to his knees at the sight of the baby with his parents. And in that moment, he decides to give all he has to this baby King...he gives them Ra, his only possession. Mary tells him that it is the most precious gift they have received because he gave all he had.
I hope that I grasp this small, yet profound truth---that giving is better than receiving. And if we give all we have, we will receive so much more in return. Why can't we let go?
A few years ago, I was living in Chicago...we lived on the top floor of a two-story flat...below us lived two sister and their kids. I will never forget this---one day, one of the sisters stopped me outside of the apartment, on the sidewalk, and said, "I've been meaning to tell you, we have some extra money on our food stamps card, so if y'all ever need it, just let me know." I almost started crying right there...it seems small, but was huge to us that she cared enough for us to share what she had.
Give. God started a long time ago...and hasn't stopped. Why have we?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)