At Long Last...

To All Who Are Still Awaiting My Final Posts:


My apologies...I had no internet connection when I was in Florida so...the posts didn't make it on time.  So, to save myself and you a little, I am combining thoughts into one final reflection of this advent season.


The theme of the last week or so has been drive, travel, drive some more, eat a whole lot, and then drive again.  In between all of that, there were wonderful moments with family and  time to be thankful.  


My family traveled to Florida last Thursday to be with my grandma, my mom's mom.  Entering her house always brings back memories...she has lived in the same house for 45 years or so...and nothing has changed...blue carpet, blue drapes that we were never allowed to touch, tiny trinkets, the smallest porcelain cats you will ever see in your life (that you must dust), blue kitchen cabinets...do you get the point?  Nothing has changed...and it's kind of nice that way.  We were looking for a hair dryer Friday morning...don't know why we always forget to bring one...and Jamie found the first hair dryer ever made by man...I promise you it weighed 8 pounds...and still worked.  It would have taken an hour to dry, but anyway...tangent.


We celebrated Christmas together on Christmas Eve because my brother and sister in law had to go back to Georgia on Sunday morning.  We had a lovely day...ate a nice meal, opened gifts, watched a cheesy Disney Christmas movie that was on tv...sad thing was that every one of us was sucked into it and couldn't stop watching.  We laughed together...we always do.  Family is so special...we "get" each other.  I don't have to explain my off hand comments or jokes to them, unless it's my dad and it's sarcastic...but we always find humor in something and it doesn't take much.  I love being around my siblings and my "in law."  We talk, we tell stories, we reminisce, we make new memories...and it's so simple, yet empowering and comforting...to know who you are and to know that others know you and love you just the same.


Christmas morning, we were lazy...got up and ate breakfast and sent off Jamie and Melonie.  My mom and I watched a church service and I had one of those "moments" that we've prayed for...of recognition of the importance of the celebration of Jesus' birth.  I teared up a little, gave thanks, and hugged my mom.  We ordered Chinese food for lunch...I had a nice conversation with the owners of the restaurant and wished them a twinkle eyed "Merry Christmas!"  And after lunch, my sister and I headed to the beach...it was 85 degrees...I was wearing gym shorts, an angry birds t-shirt, and flip flops...what more could a girl ask for on her birthday?!  We walked the beach, were amazed at how many people were there, felt the sand between our toes, the cold water at our ankles, and stared out into the vast expanse of ocean meeting the sky in silence and wonder.  My spirit breathed...I relaxed...and was thankful yet again for small moments of joy.


That night, we had birthday dinner, cake, and presents again.  And it was just nice.  


And then Monday came...my mom and dad left for Georgia and my sister and I were left to eat lunch with my grandma (her back had been bothering her the whole time we were there...she just was trying to cover it).  She ate, went down for a nap, and got up asking us to call an ambulance.  If you don't know this already, my grandmother is pretty stubborn and when her mind is set, it is hard to change it...hmmm...help me Lord.  So, after deliberation and talking, we did as she asked and ended up in the ER with her that afternoon and part of the night.  She didn't have to stay in the hospital, but it put us in charge of taking care of her, filling prescriptions, getting her food, etc.  I have immense respect for care-givers...


It was a privilege to stay...to care of my grandma...I'm not going to lie and say it was easy, but she took care of us so much when we were young...and it felt good to be able to do that for her.  I saw her in a fragile state...she is shrinking, getting weaker, and losing some of her independence...I slept in the same bed as her for two nights and woke up next to a grandma I didn't recognize...she is wrinkled and small.  And growing up, her attitude itself was big enough to make her look like a giant.  


Things change...every year I am taken aback by the changes in myself and in others...we don't know what next Christmas will look like or what will happen in the next year...but are we doing the best we can now?  Do I love people enough to see them at their weakest and to stay?  To comfort those in need and to be comforted when I am in need?  One of the themes I've seen throughout my writings for this advent season is that life happens.  Most of the time, we don't know what will come, but we do have a choice in how we respond.  We can cry, and we will...we can laugh...and we will...and in all of it, we must choose to reflect, to carry on, to make others' lives better because we have chosen to give of ourselves and the gift of life we have so graciously been given.


Merry Christmas!  Happy Advent!  Merry, Happy, Joyous, Insane Life!  :)