Let Your Light Shine...

This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine?

Sometimes I wonder if who I am as a believer is conveyed to those around me.
I pray for bright eyes, for a soft heart,
for a spirit that speaks in spite of my too many words...
And yet, sometimes I question my witness, 
The ways that I help God's kingdom come to earth.

A few days ago, I was with my last class of the day.  Now, this class consists of two 5th grade girls, neither of which speaks much English.  So, they were working on vocabulary worksheets with me and suddenly they broke into conversation, in Spanish of course.  For a minute, I thought they were talking about a girl named Maria, but as I listened more closely, I realized that one was telling the other the entire story of Jesus Christ.  The other girl asked question after question..."How could God and Jesus be the same?"  "How could Mary have Jesus?"  And time after time, the other answered with patience and amazing clarity.

I sat there, mouth open...and at one point I interjected a few statements in my best Spanish...ha.  Then my heart swelled and my eyes welled up with tears.  We serve a great, big God...God is much bigger than our worries, our fears, our everydayness...our "ability" to share...

And God is LIGHT...I shine because I belong to God...God is a God of ALL people and languages.  Praise God for calling us as children, for shining in the midst of darkness around us AND within us.

Smallness...

"Lord of the Small"

Praise to the Lord of the Small Broken Things,
Who Sees the Poor Sparrow That cannot take wing.
Who loves the lame child and the wretch in the street
who comforts their sorrows and washes their feet.

Praise to the lord of the faint and afraid
who girds them with courage and lends them his aid,
he pours out his spirit on vessels so weak,
that the timid can serve and the silent can speak.

Praise to the lord of the frail and the ill
who heals their afflictions or carries them till,
they leave this tired frame and to paradise fly.
to never be sick and never to die.

Praise him, O Praise Him All ye who live
who`ve been given so much and can so little give
our frail lisping praise God will never despise.

         He sees his dear children with mercy filled eyes.

We sang this last week at church.  I've been reminded lately of my "smallness."  Yeah, you can make jokes...I'm not exactly a petite woman, but honestly, most of the time I feel like a little girl.  Sometimes I feel the smallness of my life...of the small things I do every day...hugging, exercising, sitting around with friends, preparing a meal, yelling at kids....and I feel the brokenness of myself and the world.  Things aren't set right every day.  Children leave school hungry.  Sometimes I am not satisfied with the day or life at that moment.  

And yet, God is a God of broken things,

of small, seemingly insignificant people,

of messed up days,

of hungry kids,

of massive hugs,

of the sick,

of the ones giving every ounce of their beings for the Kingdom,

and of those who feel like they have nothing left to give.

And in it all....in the broken, in the small, in the blundering and blubbering, and yes, in the joys (which I have many)....God is God...

God is mercy.

God is Spirit.

God can speak.

God washes our nasty feet.

Amen.  Praise God.  And so be it.

In Need of a Shepherd

We just sang a beautiful song on Sunday in choir...and not just because of the music...it's one of those songs that washes over you as you sing it.  The words of the song spoke to the depths of who I am and who I want to be.  I want to be fully surrendered to my Shepherd...I want to be a good sheep, not just a crazy one that wanders off all the time.

Here are the lyrics...

"Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Guardian of each step I take
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way.

Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Author of each plan I make
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way.

When I am lost my Shepherd finds me
And leads me back into the fold.
He speaks to me with words of comfort
And shelters me, and shelters me,
He shelters me from the cold.

Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Guardian of each step I take
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way.

Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Author of each step I take
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way."

In the Middle of the Night...

No, I won't start singing "A weem a way, a weem a way..." Wait, maybe I just did...Anyway, I've been waking up a lot lately in the middle of the night.  This is not typical behavior for me.  I just turned 30...is this a sign of my age?  Probably not...I have been waking up with verses, words, and ideas...I prayed a long time ago that I would have dreams (literal) of what I was supposed to do...wouldn't that be nice?

So, now I just get awakened in the night with words and I know they are not from my own brain...help it, at that time, there's no telling what activity my brain can handle.  Last night I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and just kept reciting "Do justly.  Love mercy.  Walk humbly with your God."  And that question kept coming to me, "God, what do you want us to do?"  You see, I struggle with selfishness...I can see what I want, or what I think is best...and then IIIIIII takes over...and IIIIIII have to stop.  God's will is way more important than my own.  So, I know this is short, but God, what do you want me to do?  What do you want us to do?  What is best for me?  What is best for those around me?

Help me to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly behind you, alongside you, but never in front of you.

Amen.  So be it, Lord...a weem a way.

Prayer

Being church is messy most of the time....if you don't think so, try really being the part of the body you're supposed to be and functioning next to other parts...takes practice and lots of growing pains.

Below is a prayer I wrote for our church's offertory prayer...

God woke me up with it in the middle of the night again...don't know why God seems to send me these things at the strangest hours, but I'll take them.  :)

God,

We come now to a time of offering, a time of giving.
In this time, take us beyond these offering plates that we pass to a place of honest reflection.
We know that it is in giving
That we receive.

God, I confess today
That sometimes I enter these doors
with a hardened heart;
I confess that when I exit these doors,
Somtimes I gift the world with hatred, with judgement,
with my own selfishness.

God, I am guilty of trying to love you
Without loving my brothers and sisters.
You tell us in your Word
That that kind of love is impossible.
That if we truly love you, we will love others.

We are a body of believers walking around on crutches
Because we have been wrestling with you
Over your dreams for us.

God, show us how to offer ourselves today
To be the people you would have us be.
Show us what we hold in our hearts and hands
That can either be detrmental or beneficial
To those outside these doors.
 
You have given so freely to us.
Help us to gift the world
With you in us.
That every valley of a situation will be lifted.
That every selfish thought of pride be made low.
That the rough plans we have made be made straight.
And that hte glory of the Lord, your glory, shall be revealed
That we all may see it together.
Amen.

How Did We Get Here?!

Every Christmas, I ask myself the same question..."How did we get here again?"  It seems like time passes so quickly.  And now I am 30!  Seriously?  I just can't believe it some days.  Other days, like last week, I ran outside for two days straight and thought I would need a cane the next day for how bad my joints hurt...concrete is not my friend these days.  Anyway, I sit around every Christmas and listen to my Grandma reminisce about those "old" days...the Christmas I was born, how tiny I was, the crazy things I did and said as a little bit...and I can't imagine how all these years have passed.  I look at my mom and dad's eyes and see  wonder reflected as they watch my siblings and I interact as adults.  I know they must be thinking about how fast time has passed...and yet, so much has happened.  

I was thinking about this past year and all that has happened...

I started my fourth year of teaching...yep that's right...thank you TN for counting those 2 years in GA!

I loved on some kids (at school, at church, in homes)

I taught some little kids some great theology...Jesus is weird but cool.

My friends had little gifts of children

Everybody turned a year older :)

New teachers came to our school who are now new friends

My Spanish has been tested beyond belief

I met some pretty neat people this year ;)

Worked another season at Smokies Baseball Park

My brother and his wife had their first child...what a blessing Miley is to our family!  :)

And I am sure there is much more...take time to reflect today...the things listed above may seem ordinary to you...it may not have been my most "exciting" year, but God teaches us through all things.

I see new life...I see love...I see learning...I see life being lived.  Jesus calls us to that...allowing God to make the ordinary extraordinary...

So here's to a new year...of new life, of love, of learning, of living with a renewed spirit...seeing ordinary things as God sees them.

Oh the Drive...

If you know me pretty well, you know I complain about driving when I go home...maybe it's just habit..anyway, I always have good stories.  Like today...on the road by 6:15 AM (yep you read that correctly)...stopped at 7:15 to get breakfast and much needed large coffee at El McDonaldos...pouring down rain...and I fly by the cash window like it's not going to be open...to which the woman YELLS "Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Come back!"  Yes, I am almost 30 years old...hopefully you do dumb stuff too and are still able to laugh at yourself.

Anyway, back to my original thought...driving...I complain, but really, the time on the road is therapy for me. It gives me time to think, reflect, be quiet and still.  So today, say around 8:00, Lashonda and I were gettin it down I75 and I started thinking about the three wise men.  Rumor has it (not Adele) that they finally got to see Jesus when he was about 2 years old.  Well, I thought about that and how they had to carry those gifts for a long time and probably answer a lot of questions along the way..."Dude, are you still looking for that baby King?"  "What's that?"  "Why don't you just give it up?"  Yes, I realize I am processing this through my English, first world brain, but stay with me...

So I thought about how we relate to the wise men...we have these gifts...some of us can sing, some people can work really hard, others can make things, some people can listen to the craziest people and still love them...there are so many gifts represented in just the people that I know...and we all journey.  None of us has "arrived."  We are still looking, still anticipating, still answering a whole lot of questions while we journey toward the King.  I'm so glad we're all in the same boat...that we journey together...that we have this amazing hope that we know we will bow before one day.  And more than that, I am so grateful that I get to see the gifts and sacrifices in use along the way.

So, what is your gift?  Your sacrifice?  Are you holding tightly to it, waiting until the day finally comes when you meet the King?  Or are you sharing it along the way?  If you walk toward the King, people will ask you some questions...what is your response?

God,
Thank you for the gifts that you give...
Thank you for the journey that you call us to.
Help us to walk,
Help us to share,
Help us to see the beauty of the journey,
The wealth of the gifts,
The King that we serve,
And the ways that we can bless.
Amen.