Looking Back...

A group of us at church is studying the life of Abram, later Abraham, you know, Father of our Faith and all that. The story of Abraham has always fascinated me, mainly because I cling to the haphazard way he and Sarai gather everything and everybody up, and start walking. God tells them to go, gives them a promise, and they believe. What also encourages me is that after the initial following, they do doubt, individually and as a family...they doubt the promises God made to give them a son, to bring them to a promised land...and yet God reassures them, makes them laugh even. I say all this to tell you what happened to me the other day. I was driving to work...such a mundane task...I was wrapped up in getting there...ahead was kind of dark and dreary with the first rays of sunlight beginning to light the horizon. All the sudden, I looked in my rear view mirror and the sun was coming up over the mountains. It was such a bright, brilliant orange that it almost blinded me. It was beautiful. And in that moment, I thought about Abraham and Sarah. I thought about how they kept walking forward, seeing darkness at times, a few rays of light and promise ahead at other times, but when they looked back, it was brilliant. God does so much in our lives that we never see. We may do something for someone, or go through something that is really difficult at the time, but in the end, it's brilliant, and it's beauty. Even the nasty stuff of our lives can be buried and turn up as something new and glorious. So, look back today...your life may have paved the way for someone else to come into the Kingdom. Your mess may have been another person's treasure. Your struggle may have turned into something beautiful...and just go ahead and laugh a little.

Always Love My Mama...

So yes, this is a little late, but not too bad...I was asked to pray on Mother's Day...and no, I ain't no mama, but I do love mine.  And I love the way that mamas all over have mothered me, and yes, how God has taught me to mother these children that aren't mine by birth, but that I claim anyway.

So...here is the prayer I prayed...for my mama especially, but also to all those who have loved on me.

God,

We come now to a time of passing plates.
On this day, when we celebrate mothers,
we reflect on the many plates that have been passed to us.
We remember the needs that our moms met,
The hurts they hugged away,
the softness of their touch,
The warmth of their embrace,
The ability to see us for who we really are and to love us anyway...
And we give thanks.

Thank you for moms
That walked by faith,
That sheltered us with prayer,
That pushed us to become who we are
That trusted you enough to fill our plates.

God, we recognize Jesus in our moms--
in the ability to touch, to heal, to host, to celebrate, to love in such a special way,
In truly knowing how to sacrifice for the sake of someone else.

As the plates are passed this day, let us, by faith, believe that you are able to fill them...
And help us to give in such a way
That fills someone else's plate,
That sacrifices for someone else
Like we have been sacrificed for.  
Amen.

Busy, busy...

Let Your Light Shine...

This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine?

Sometimes I wonder if who I am as a believer is conveyed to those around me.
I pray for bright eyes, for a soft heart,
for a spirit that speaks in spite of my too many words...
And yet, sometimes I question my witness, 
The ways that I help God's kingdom come to earth.

A few days ago, I was with my last class of the day.  Now, this class consists of two 5th grade girls, neither of which speaks much English.  So, they were working on vocabulary worksheets with me and suddenly they broke into conversation, in Spanish of course.  For a minute, I thought they were talking about a girl named Maria, but as I listened more closely, I realized that one was telling the other the entire story of Jesus Christ.  The other girl asked question after question..."How could God and Jesus be the same?"  "How could Mary have Jesus?"  And time after time, the other answered with patience and amazing clarity.

I sat there, mouth open...and at one point I interjected a few statements in my best Spanish...ha.  Then my heart swelled and my eyes welled up with tears.  We serve a great, big God...God is much bigger than our worries, our fears, our everydayness...our "ability" to share...

And God is LIGHT...I shine because I belong to God...God is a God of ALL people and languages.  Praise God for calling us as children, for shining in the midst of darkness around us AND within us.

Smallness...

"Lord of the Small"

Praise to the Lord of the Small Broken Things,
Who Sees the Poor Sparrow That cannot take wing.
Who loves the lame child and the wretch in the street
who comforts their sorrows and washes their feet.

Praise to the lord of the faint and afraid
who girds them with courage and lends them his aid,
he pours out his spirit on vessels so weak,
that the timid can serve and the silent can speak.

Praise to the lord of the frail and the ill
who heals their afflictions or carries them till,
they leave this tired frame and to paradise fly.
to never be sick and never to die.

Praise him, O Praise Him All ye who live
who`ve been given so much and can so little give
our frail lisping praise God will never despise.

         He sees his dear children with mercy filled eyes.

We sang this last week at church.  I've been reminded lately of my "smallness."  Yeah, you can make jokes...I'm not exactly a petite woman, but honestly, most of the time I feel like a little girl.  Sometimes I feel the smallness of my life...of the small things I do every day...hugging, exercising, sitting around with friends, preparing a meal, yelling at kids....and I feel the brokenness of myself and the world.  Things aren't set right every day.  Children leave school hungry.  Sometimes I am not satisfied with the day or life at that moment.  

And yet, God is a God of broken things,

of small, seemingly insignificant people,

of messed up days,

of hungry kids,

of massive hugs,

of the sick,

of the ones giving every ounce of their beings for the Kingdom,

and of those who feel like they have nothing left to give.

And in it all....in the broken, in the small, in the blundering and blubbering, and yes, in the joys (which I have many)....God is God...

God is mercy.

God is Spirit.

God can speak.

God washes our nasty feet.

Amen.  Praise God.  And so be it.

In Need of a Shepherd

We just sang a beautiful song on Sunday in choir...and not just because of the music...it's one of those songs that washes over you as you sing it.  The words of the song spoke to the depths of who I am and who I want to be.  I want to be fully surrendered to my Shepherd...I want to be a good sheep, not just a crazy one that wanders off all the time.

Here are the lyrics...

"Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Guardian of each step I take
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way.

Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Author of each plan I make
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way.

When I am lost my Shepherd finds me
And leads me back into the fold.
He speaks to me with words of comfort
And shelters me, and shelters me,
He shelters me from the cold.

Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Guardian of each step I take
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way.

Shepherd of my soul,
Keeper of my heart,
Author of each step I take
Lead me.  Lead me.  Lead me in your way."

In the Middle of the Night...

No, I won't start singing "A weem a way, a weem a way..." Wait, maybe I just did...Anyway, I've been waking up a lot lately in the middle of the night.  This is not typical behavior for me.  I just turned 30...is this a sign of my age?  Probably not...I have been waking up with verses, words, and ideas...I prayed a long time ago that I would have dreams (literal) of what I was supposed to do...wouldn't that be nice?

So, now I just get awakened in the night with words and I know they are not from my own brain...help it, at that time, there's no telling what activity my brain can handle.  Last night I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and just kept reciting "Do justly.  Love mercy.  Walk humbly with your God."  And that question kept coming to me, "God, what do you want us to do?"  You see, I struggle with selfishness...I can see what I want, or what I think is best...and then IIIIIII takes over...and IIIIIII have to stop.  God's will is way more important than my own.  So, I know this is short, but God, what do you want me to do?  What do you want us to do?  What is best for me?  What is best for those around me?

Help me to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly behind you, alongside you, but never in front of you.

Amen.  So be it, Lord...a weem a way.